As the world turmoil continues to rise up the taste of hatred is very prominant to me. As we celebrated Imbolc and the returning of the light I was made very aware of the cycle of domestic abuse, that is prominent here in the Scottish culture, in truth the all over the world. With irony it seems to be almost romanticised, "Ahhhhh he's a good man really, until he has a drink etc."!!!!! Unfortunately 'until he has a drink, etc' has become all to common where women help women to mask bruises, with clever make up; and the old story of I walked into a door, I tripped over the cat/dog. Where children go without food unless someone else provides the food, normally another family member. So during my Wisdom Of Words workshop at the weekend this subject appeared and the question asked was "Does the person supplying the food, clothes, money etc enable the abuse?" A very good question, do they indeed? Having this as part of my heritage and also I feel very passionate about healing this cultural wound of what has become accepted as being a man in Scotland to stagger about drunk after spending all the family's money. And for women to be expert at lying about what bruises they wear and allow through fear and confusion to be blamed for someone elses behaviour. Generation after generation these deep deep seated wounds are being continued, there is nothing romantic or loving about lying in your bed as a child to scared to move because your Dad is battering your Mum, or in some cases vice a verca. Not a thing romantic about living in terror of putting a foot wrong or be so afraid you think you are going to die at the hands of the person who claims to love you!! Where is there there anything but control for the rape that continues for many. There is nothing great about constantly worrying about feeding or clothing your children,to  frightened to ask for money from anyone as you will be blamed for losing the houshold money, nothing loving about having to admit you caused the black eye you wear because you spoke up, or out of turn or the many many excuses that people in the abusive role dole out to make their behaviour acceptable and manageable in their own eyes, it is everyone else's fault of course. The victim has most likely been a childhood witness to this pattern that is then imprinted upon themselves. So having been witness to this cycle of abuse in many ways myself, it was also one of the main reasons people came along to me when I was mentoring, I hear it often in my shamanic healing sessions, so what should a person do? Feed and clothe the children or leave them all to it? I have heard this story over and over and over, and in truth if someone doesn't feed or clothe the children then they go without. If someone is not there to take even a small pressure away there is no pleasures just never ending turmoil, fear and confusion. As your mind tells you one story of what your ears hear, and you are told no thats not correct and you better believe it by the family bully. This blog could be seen as me having a go at the abuser so far, however I am aware that the abuser also has a very good reason as to why they can not cope with their own fear, hate and pain, they too have been a victim somewhere, most likely another child witness to the abuse of their parents and the wound that is tearing them apart inside is too painful to deal with along with the imprinted learned behaviours, so they drink, take drugs, gamble, play computer games any thing to escape what is going on inside of themselves. This is why I would so dearly love to see this huge gaping wound healed in our culture, because it is unacceptable to carry this pattern on for anyone in this cycle. I dream that as each of us awaken we share our love far and wide, heal our selves, take responsibility for our reactions and actions, none of us are perfect. Walking the shamanic path is of great benefit to empower our selves away from this continual cycle, where everyone who wants to can empower themselves, to allow themselves the time for the pain to dissolve, the wounds to heal peace of mind body and spirit can be had if a person wants it. This is the true story that we want to hear. With spring in the air and a new years dream dare to breathe deeply into to our hearts, dream bigger of the freedom that can be had, as we allow the divine feminine her rightful place again in our lives.  With peace and grace may we walk in beauty.heartdevilheart

So another new year is here ready with all the many many new years resolutions that go along with it.  Not only is this another new year it is a new beggining as in numerology we are at 1 year.  The time is now ripe for creating our new bright shiny futures and lord only knows, along with the rest of humanity when we really stop and think about it, we need a new dream.  lets be brave and go all out this time around and go for gold, why gold?  Well why not?  As one of my teachers says often that when we are creating our new lives we should go for gold, that is what we are worth, why sell ourselves short, Olympic athelites do not set out to win only a bronze medal!! They train and go for gold.  I feel refreshed and positive for this new year along with the next nine year cycle, so if you are reading this, get ready for new energy and create a vision board of what you want to have in your dream life.  Be honest here as you sit with your pens, crayons and paper and pencils.  You want health ask for full health, you want love ask for love and start feeling how that health and love or  finacial abundance feels.  The more we focus and have positive intentions, the more we will attract these into our lives.  If we don't want to be ill we have to change our focus and thoughts, stop saying we are ill, tired, skint etc etc, you know what I mean imagine the poor tired little hamseter that has kept these wheels of thoughts running, give her a rest, better still retire her.  Think of the simple things in life that fill us with gratitude.  I remember a few years back when i was still volunteering full time and I had wanted to meet the shamans in Peru, I had no job, and never thought i would really get to do the spiritual trip of a life time.  I put it on a vision board, and to this day I have no idea how the diddly doo dahs I managed it, but manage it I did, and a few months later I was in Peru with the Peruvian shamans of very gentle angelica beauty, Don Angelino and Don Alberto.  Take a moment to breathe into your hearts  what is it you desire and focus on all the positive things in life you can have, no excuses are allowed, just get it down on paper and watch the power of the universe unfold.  Remember this does work both ways if you dont want it dont ask for it, keep the negative thoughts away by replacing them with the positive.  Dream Big, I am now dreaming of being in Nepal on another spiritual trip of a life time in September with other amazing Shamans from the area.  The excitment is high as I know this is more than a dream I know I will be there.  Lets all dream big and see our precious Mother Earth restored to her full beauty as well.  The collective concsiousness is shifting and people are waking up, lets all do this in peace and harmony.  Wishing everyone a beautiful unfolding of love peace, abundance and happiness.

Everybody Loves a Bargain.

I have been guided to write this blog as a way of honouring myself, last year I went through intensive food coaching sessions, (for anyone reading this struggling with food issues I am very happy to give you the lady I worked withs details, please use the contact form to contact me and ask for them.) So back to the title, Everybody Loves a bargain, this is so true, I love bargains, even though I don't like shopping especially in crowds. So hopefully this far in I have you attention, so what is it we are looking for with bargains? To save money, so we buy bargain priced food, and sale priced clothes. Half the time these clothes don't fit us or we don't really like them and they get placed in the wardrobe for later use, eventually probably with the price tags still on them in to a charity bag. There is a whole psychology to the buisness end of selling of these goods that haven't sold in the shops, that plays with our love a bargain minds. Anyway I still love a bargain, but I now think about it much more, is it really a bargain? No not if I don't ever wear it. So to the point of why I have been guided to write this, when we veiw ourselves as only worthy of the bargain / sale item we are going to eat or wear continuously, that is were we are in our minds placing very little value on our self worth, there is no nourishing or nurturing of the true beautiful self we are by doing this. We invalidate ourselves with this mind set of, I will only buy my food or clothes when they are in the bargain bucket. Why are we not worthy of buying a new item that we fully love? A decent fairtrade item that helps everyone in this shopping contract, the people who made your item are valued as they are paid well and work in decent working conditions. The vibration of this eneters you and your mind states to you, I am a beautiful worthwile person, I LOVE ME. I am not a sale price bargain I am top class, I value me and the people who have created the food I am eating, the organic earth the food grew in the fairtrade people who nourished and nurtured the plants growing, which nourishes and nurtures my body, I value and appreciate me as a person with the thought and care that went into the clothes I love wearing.The products I wash myself with. I love appreciate and value the earth I live on and the people I surround myself with. This in turn when we have done this makes us feel special if you like, feel the difference in our energy when we have treated ourselves. To something we really want and will love eating wearing or using. I did this recently when I bought a brand new bicycle. I found myself going the bargain route and checked out gumtree, then started to feel my self worth drop as I thought yes that bike will do, not overly keen on the colour but well its only the colour. Could that one do its maybe too small, but not to worry its cheap. Maybe go to Halfords, no not a good idea these bikes don't last long and then create a path of unused items that are being discareded in our throw away society. So in respecting the beautiful planet I live on with this in my mind I went and bought a brand new bike, which I will learn how to service by going to workshops and meeting people who use bikes and getting tips. I already feel happier with this bike than my last one which was second hand and only lasted a year. Its my new shiny bike to support my new shiny self in my new long lasting healthy self routine. So I'm not saying don't buy bargains, what I am saying is value yourself and don't always place yourself in the bargain bucket. Treat yourself special because you are. Love you because you are worth it.  ©

Celebrating Being a Woman..........
An ironic title I think you will agree by the time you finish reading this blog.  Hopefully my trials over the last few weeks will bring a smile to your face though.  Haha even if it isn't at all helpfull advice i share.  So for the last few months I haven't blogged, this has mainly been beacuse I have been all over the place.  Also a combination of the powerful shamanic teachers and healers I have sat in circle with since 3rd May.  On the 3rd May I started a 2 month intensive healing period as guided, (sometimes I really wonder why I follow the advice!! I'm sure we have all said that too.)  we start with Sandra Ingerman's second year of my two year teacher training an 8 day intensive course shaping us up on how to teach her material, during this we students also do the courses again, and during one of the journeys we were  to do on; self limiting beliefs that are holding us back, I was knocked sideways so to speak, It was a total shock to me to hear what one of my limiting beliefs was.  I was shaking, feeling sick, had a headache and crying at the depth of the information.  I decided to take up  Stephen's offer of staffing/supporting the Spiritdance/Breathwork course 4 days after Sandra's finished; to really breath the trauma of this out of my system.  So another 8 days I spent in circle with the amazing Peggy who teaches in Leonard Orrs breathwork style, and during my rebirthing session I broke through my claustraphobia and released the traumas to the best of my ability.  I am ever so grateful to my rebirthing companions Marilyn Franks and Kliff Stephanou, it was a trully fabulous session.  As if this was not enough my guides decided I had to also do  Amazonian Jungle Shaman Don Alberto on 28th June as well for 5 days, so I eventually agreed, (as if we ever don't agree with our guides!!)  I had also spent 8 days supporting / staffing the Soul retrieval course with Stephen my main shamanic teacher.  So any way all this intensive work in a short space of time, leaves me with integration a very necessary part of our healing after care.  We have to rest up and take care of ourselves, or eventually we will burn out.  Also its good to remember when doing this kind of work up pops the stuff we don't really want to look at, or a revisit of old illnesses, anyways  I had headaches/migraines, dizziness, depression was very intense again, nausea, confusion, would forget appointments or what I was shopping for, night sweats, night paralasis, the heat travelling through my body was tremendous at times so hot I would nearly faint. Hot one minute cold and shivery the next without Flu/colds.  Horrible taste in my mouth almost constantly too. On looking there is always alot of planetary influence going on this time of year, and I am always more sensitve come Autumn season.  Count in the acsecsion symptons and the low blood pressure.  I was to say the least not fit for human consumption.  As I was doing the sensible thing we all do I turned to Dr Google and looked up the symptoms, well up pops perimenopause!!! You what?? I thought you had menopause and mensturation ends.  No such bloody luck for us poor sods out here called women, we have the Pirrahna Mouth Traits, that little snipy bitchy voice  that pops up once a month, only to disappear when the fish hooks ripping the inside of stomach to shreds starts.  Along with the realisation of ohhhh yes thats why I was being very unreasonable again.  From around age 11-13ish  to 45-50ish, then somewhere in that comes pregnanacy and labour enough said for anyone who has had this delight.  Now to top it all in the time we are free to have a ball do what we want, sing, dance, have fun.  Grinds to a halt you may be perimenopauseal, oh and this can go on for many years even up to 10, oh lordy keep piling on the good news guys.  The thing is little pirrahna has now become even more unreasonable and turned into some thing, I kid you not, the Devil itself would be scared to come up against.  I am praying for a swift, delightful, graceful and peaceful for everyone tranistion into Autumn age of my life.  Anyway I also asked a herblist friend of mine for any advice she could give if it was the menopause and she suggested, a good vitamin B complex and calcium and magnesium, all this would benefit my system, it definately has calmed alot of things down.  And feeling a tad more with it here in muggy Scotland.  So celebrating with my fellow goddesses, the absolute joy of being a woman, every few days we do actually get for it.  ©bluebird-dreamweaver.
I recently spent one of the most amazing experiences of my life.  I was moved to tears by the beauty and humility of Don Alberto an amazing man, teacher, and Shaman from deep within the Amazon jungle.  He has to walk 3 days before he comes to a road when he leaves his family and home.  And here he was in the Troussachs of Scotland after travelling around for a month or more teaching from his heart, with pure love and joy and a huge sprinkling of mischeviousness.  Loved him totally and so very very grateful to him for his teachings from his homeland of Peru.
He teaches us the importance of doing our own inner personal work, something we really must do if we want to save our preciuos planet, our Mother the Earth.  We have lost our heart centred connection to Earth.  We have a responsibility to find our centres and balance ourselves to the best of our ability, both masculine and feminine sides, as well as balance ourselves, mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually and sexually. 
The ceremonies we all did are life changing and I feel will go on and on subtley for many a moon to come.  He asks that we protect the Rainforest to the best of our ability also as there are still tribes living this natural indigenious life.  This is real shamanism.  I wholeheartly thank him for sharing his wisdom and stories of his ancestors with us.
One of the things Don Alberto taught us was how we eat incorrectly, we talk all over our food instead of blessing each mouthful we swallow and allow it to nourish us.  Think for a moment here as to what we are talking about or even listening to whilst we eat.  Are we swallowing toxins physically, mentally and emotionally?  Are we enjoying our food?  Are we allowing our mind body and spirit to be nourished?  We should be loving every mouthful of food we eat.  Eat with reckless joy for our mealtimes.
I haven't mentioned Don Alberto's companion and support much here yet, but without Richard and people like Richard, Don Alberto would not be able to communicte with us, as Richard speaks and translates to Don Alberto in Spanish, Don Alberto speaks spanish but it is not his main language.  He speaks many different Amazonian jungle dialects, as people travel from all over to see him, to do ceremonies with him.  To learn from him.  His student, support and protector is Richard.  So many heartfelt thanks to Richard also, for the time he gives up to travel and support Don Alberto, amd also the amount of time he spends organising the trips and everything that goes with it.
So all in all a truley amazingly wonderful experience, I will happiliy do again should I get the opportunity.  So be mindful of how we eat, live joyfully and do; once again I can not say this enough; do our inner personal work.
Many thanks DON ALBERTO, for the healing ceremonies the love and the joy; a real wonder of this world we live in, a true Shaman.  ©bluebird-dreamwever.


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