We Are Our Surroundings.

As above so below, as within so without.  Is an expression I have heard many times over the years of my spiritual journey.  I went to bed thinking about this sayining last night, after my smoke alarms went off every 10 minutes for nearly 5 and a half hours.
I traced back the thread of what had been happening for me, where did this seriously irritating event come from?  Most would say just change the battery, or dust it, or electrical fault without much if any further thought.  As a shamanic practitioner and teacher of shamanism, I looked within, in truth I did not have to look to far.  I have the debilitating condition at the moment of plantar fasciitis, seriously painful and at times unable to walk properly; this comes after being released from my ailments of a year long illness of unknown origin, well unknown to western medicine. I had the fortune of visiting Nepalese Shamans at my recent visit to Kathmandu, Nepal.  So firstly we have the long illness, nausea and migraines being the two main symptoms, followed by not knowing who i was or what simple items where on my shopping list, whats cat food? What is a cat?  My cat is 13 and been with me since she was 8 weeks old.  Anyway as I went through tests for low blood pressure, thyroid, liver, diabetes, iron levels all in truth to no avail as every test was clear. Add into this mix the constant pain off what seemed like flu but wasn't or arthritis symptoms all over the body.  Rest was my best option, rest was the recommendation,  so rest i did on and off for the year.  As I visited each of the 8 shamans including our teacher/host/guide; I regained my vitality thankfully I am indeed very very grateful.  So with vitality comes renewed get up and go energy, take up walking faster, feel amazing best I have done in years.  Then along comes plantar fasciitis to stop me in my tracks, just fabulous, and really no chance is that happening. I'm not accepting this.  So I ask around my alternative health professional friends, and wow the advice is amazing, stretches, ice for inflamed feet, and the proverbial diet changes.  Along with of course we can't help ourselves, the Google advice, which is normally conflicting, it didn't fail to be either.
So the main thing that stood out to me again, as always does is the foods we eat, we have a very acidic diet and really need to embrace more alkaline foods into our diets for optimum health.  INFLAMMATION, over and over again this is my issue, during my researches i had read in an article that if our body is screaming in pain we should have been listening a good while back.  Yes indeed I should, as I sunk into my bed of pain for a year I let the food slide to the other end of the scale and ate the usual shite we do, ice cream, biscuits, wheat, dairy, pre-packed, etc. 
So what has this all got to do with fire alarms?  It actually started with my 2 year old grandson have a hissy temper tantrum, from being woken up to early in his opinion, then pulling at his teeth, he yelled for about 40 minutes, so I had to smudge the energy of rage out, his at his sore teeth mine at his yelling about it.  Restore peace and harmony into my home.  Well we are not seperate from anything, so as my alarm system screamed its alarm every 10 minutes something was out of whack, a visit from the fire brigade they say flat battery and change it, then contact landlord first thing in the morning.  Ok fabulous amazing I can now put my 2 year old grandson to bed, he will be happy that the alarm has stopped too, he secreamed also everytime it went off, and was a bit freaked out at times, understandably, its been going on for the last 3 hours, mmmm make that 3 hours 20 mins, as i went and emailed my estate agents, the bloody alarm sounded again.  Ok so it will be a trip down the road for a new battery, with 2 year old, anyway its going to take me 20 - 30 mins to do that so somewhere the alarm is going to start ringing again, and I wont be in to use the trusty broom handle to switch it off.  Ahha phone my daughter and she comes over with a new battery, its now 9. 30, and baby should have been in bed ages ago, when off goes the fecking alarm again can you adam and eve it for crying out ****** loud.  Hammer time perhaps?  Well most definately feel like it.
Anyway as I am under 5 foot as is my daughter, out comes the craft table again, along with the step ladders that we have to climb up to take off the seriously irritating smoke alarm, and  ditch it someplace outside?  Through it in the Canal? (Never as more pollution isn't on my agenda).  Smoother it in blankets so we can't hear it?  Whack it with the hammer? Bury it even?  So I get out an old biscuit tin when the electrician phones, (never been so grateful for the phone call this late at night) and says yes disable it fully, and take the battery out then it wont work he will be around tomorrow its an electrical fault, not the battery.
So finally grandsons bed time, his mum can go home along to her bed, and I can go and contimplate the whole situation shamanically.  The questions I consider are what is the electrical system of my house? What is it in my body? Maybe the nervous system? And then what was happening to me physically, well it was getting seriously on my nerves, I can't stand it any more, I will smash it up, causing me serious anger.  So I have to look at what I can't stand as my feet hurt badly, what is getting on my nerves that much? Irritating me so much I am screaming like my smoke alarms because I have ignored it.  Mmmmmmm interesting there, I journey on it; meet power animal and teacher, have fabulous conversation and am reminded I have a new power animal to talk to, that can help me with my feet, remove the toxic energy out via extraction and then transmute energy.  Remember my dream of Pine tree well I researched Pine essential oils yeaterday and they are great for inflammation, and an antioxidant, foot massage coming up.  Remeber another dream of being in my power, yes INDEED I have the power to change my life and lifestyle dietry changes are what are needed, to keep me tip top and healthy, I had already started with various supplements, food changes, but what I have to remember is my body is my machine and will run as well as the fuel I use within.  Better to make life changes than to have a toxic overload that causes massive inflammation.  So once again a mightly hearty thank you to the Nepalese Shamans, who started the ball rolling, as always great gratitude to my guides for support and guidance, and of course a massive thanks to myself for listening to my inner wisdom and respecting the teaching of the very annoying smoke alarm.  A quick update as to why the smoke alarm was sounding off, most likely the steam from dinner being cooked.  So shamanically another angle to look at, and I would say so far Pine/Fir is what I need most to welcome into my life.  Living shamanically everything is energy, and we can learn from each and every situation, so living here in central scotland dampness is all around so will need to journey for guidance on how to put my best feet forward and is there anything else I need to know.  With Inflammation regualry and consitently over the years in many different forms, I probably have the switch mentioned in an article about inflammation firmly welded on, no longer as it has been discovered and released.
Many blessings to all who are reading this.

This is a picture from my hotel window in Kathmandu Nepal.(bottom photo).  Wow what a shock to be over here away from what I would consider a busy town of Falkirk.  The first thing that amazed me whilst coming over to Nepal to start a fun filled exciting pilgramage, was how peaceful it was.  Suprising really considering there was I was was told something like 8 million people in Kathmandu, the same amount of people as in the whole of Scotland.  People where polite on the busy dusty roads, where all the traffic seemed to be going in multiple directions at the same time; where people dogs cows, bicycles, motorbikes cars and the odd bus or three would all be intetmingled in chaos and harmony at the same time.  I can feel the violence, anger and negative emotions in Scotland where traffic meets, this was absent in Nepal, alot of horns beeping more to say please mind me I'm here, and here in the UK the aggression of ****** get *** out of my way *****, you get the picture I'm sure.

I had planned this trip to experience healing from the local shamans and see how indigenous shamans worked.  I was and am in total awe full of gratitude and upmost respect.  Our host/guide/teacher Bhola is also a Shaman ( Dhami, Jhankri), a fun filled, fun loving man who catered to our needs.  I had no expectations for this 3 week pilgramage other than to get well.  I had been ill on and off for many years, and the last year had seen my weight increase as my physical body was drained of energy.  We saw in total 8 differnt shamans.  We spent time in ceremony up in the mountains in the village of Chisipani, where the earthquake of 2015 had caused distruction of some of the local buildings.(Top photo) A very surreal experience to watch the 4 male shamans prepare their ceremony from start to finish, in amongst the wreckage of the twisted buildings.  There we sat watched and learned how the native shamans of Nepal in this area prepared and held ceremony.  I felt totally blessed and privilaged to be here.  We then danced with the locals with a ceremony the next day, again held and lead by the 4 shamans.  A celebration of the feminine energy.

So along with the misty mountains around us which we saw the gloriuos beauty of when the clouds cleared.  We were up so high we were living in the clouds.  I can't really put into words my experiences with the shamans as it was all so fantastic, and words wouldn't do it justice.  It was profound I like everyone else had my turn and we didn't ask a question where told what was happening that needed to be sorted for each of us.  My information was a suprise to me, well sort of and it made sense I had a negative nasty spirit attached to me.  Lordy lord wonder where I had got that from, he than answered my question with you went west and spent a lot of money there.  Oh ok that pinpointed it for me.  Thankfully the spirit was removed and my vitality and health have been returning, I am so very grateful.  As I do depossession work I can understand the subtlities and the ongoing bombardment a possessing spirt can give us, to make us doubt, hate, fight, fear and make us very very ill, attaching into our addictions and the like.  To be free is well liberating.

We visited other shamans in their houses along with people of Nepal, it was interesting to be so welcomed without judgement; and such a eye opener to witness this.  Delightful too.  More information was passed to each of us and some had cermonies to do very detailed ceremonies in some cases.  Again much gratitude to the 2 female grandmother shamans who invited and welcomed us into their homes.  I have now been home for a month and I am just touching upon some points, i feel clean and refreshed. I will blog more there is so much to share of my experiences.  I will be going again and enjoying this sacred shamanic pilgrimage.  Many blessings and thanks for reading.  PS if your reading this and interested in going to Nepal on a similar journey I am more than happy to share the details etc.


So many many people seem to be going through spiritual spontaneous awakenings I thought I would share my own experience. Trusting that someone somewhere will find this helpful to them.

Way back in 2007 I started what can only be described as the most hellish phase of my then crappy life that I had ever been through. I had solderied on through the hardships, got angry, got depressed and marched the martyr march right on into the next set of challenges that presented themselves, to me. Nothing or no one would break me, ever, well unless I was in a suicidal phase when I wished for death constantly, any death. As young as age 9 I would imagine how I could die, being stabbed, being hit by a car, strangulation any old way would do just fine. Just so long as I could leave planet Earth behind, actually I loved the wild moors I lived on just the people I couldn't tolerate. So for 40 years I marched my soldier solidarity march, took to drink, drugs, food, smoking, all theses things to plaster my unhealed wounds. Became anti authority (in truth I still am!!) and blamed the system and all the bast***s I had met for my life, and worldly woes.

So around comes the proverbial nearly age 40 syndrome and when you think life and loathing really can not get any worse along comes the sledge hammer to the back of the head so to speak and down you go with a most horiffic and terrifying experience life had brought me so far. (When I look back on this I actually had a milder awakening back in my 20's) I went completely insane. I was sore all over my body like constant flu symptoms minus the flu, had migraines, depressed deeply, saw things you wouldn't think existed, dead people were common seeings, heard voices, was hot /cold, tired /restless, in truth I did not really know what I was. Rage, anger ,irritability were common companions. I went to the Dr as you do, ' You are having a psychotic break, and depression. Take these pills, and get some rest.' Was the advise, as if any other advice would be offered. I asked to be hospitalised for my own safety, and was told no it wasn't possible as iIwas only a danger to myself. Just take the pills, I knew I was not going through depression as depression had been a companion for many many years, this was something much more scary, I was very very afraid. I was very very angry. I was seeing things that did not look good, the dead were scary enough, I became too afraid to sleep, so stressed I couldn't eat, I went down from 13 stone to 6 and half in a few months. This was the most vulnerable I have ever been in my whole life.

This went on and on for month after month totally insanity in my mind, body, soul and spirit. Nearly two years I was like this without any let up. I wasn't on a spiritual path, at the time and did not know what a guide was, never thought of energy going up and down the body, or spine or into the ground or anywhere for that matter. A neighbour and friend of mine was a medium and she introduced me to the idea of guides we could talk to. We were both going through this horrible experience together she in a very similar state to myself, and she told me how she had been so desperate for help she was down on her knees in the local river grabbing up handfuls of stones saying please god someone help me, when I appeared. Hahahaha misery and madness love company maybe. Anyway we researched the symptoms along with the symbols I was seeing in the trees on a regular basis. The creator/universes way of speaking to me.  Creator/universe/god/goddess/divine speaks to us in symbolic sight and metaphor a way of getting our attention.  I also had the often seen by people repeating numbers of 11:11.  (It can be any series of numbers 444 555 888 etc etc). The symptoms came up as Kundalini awakening ( a potential force that once awakened can produce a variety of mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual effects. ) There are many labels spontaneous spirtiual awakening, ascension, dark night of the soul, the awakening can come under however the label matters not, its more how can we deal with this sudden awkening we have been pushed into by our true spiritual selves, maybe like myself, we just have not been listening closely enough and had to have the shove to wake up, to being more than living a pointless human life. In absolute truth this had to happen to me, I was so strong and stubborn nothing was going to get to me, through my layers and layers of armour. Now I am many years down the line and have a better understanding of what happened and maybe why. All that self made armour has had to be taken off, piece by piece. To surrender to my spiritual self was required. I have come a long way from then and sometimes it seems I am still there when the same happens again, to lesser degrees. Over the past 8 years I have through my own experiences helped others come through this traumatic time. It does take patience, as we release what is not serving our true spiritual selves. I now know also that a shock or crisis can trigger the awakening and I had met someone who reminded me of my very dear freind who had died 11 years prior. I had never grieved his loss, or acknowledged how much he meant to me. To suddenly have the grieff hit me awakened me to all the stuff I had stored in my energetic cupboards (the chakras in our bodies) that now and right now burst the doors wide open as no more would fit in and the doors would not be squeezed shut again ever; all at once 40 years of shit had to be cleaned up sorted out and released from me, mind body and spirit, willingly. I was no longer strong, I was broken, smashed to nothing, a quivvering wreck, open, raw and very vulnerable.

There is much information on spiritual awakening crisis and the symptoms vary from person to person, I would advise always having the Drs check you over as well.

As energy can race through our bodies we can experience tingling, restless legs, migraines/headaches, hot or cold extremes, heart palpitations, heat in hands and feet, pain in the charkra points, (the body has 7 main charka points running up the spine that are often blocked and can cause extreme pain in the back). Changes in eating, changes in sleeping patterns, brain fog, confusion, irritability, anger, rage, despair, feeling energy moving in the body, tingling at the top of the head, feeling we have insects crawling all over us. An emotional rollecoaster ride. Old stored thoughts and patterns can and do often come to the surface ready for us to look at acknowledge deal with and release. Feeling life is out of control and you are a total mess. Losing your mind, seeing things out the corner of your eye, seeing the dead, hearing voices, being able to comunicate with animals, plants, trees. The list goes on and on, and each person will have an individual experience as it is what they need to release. In our time of being open we have to be very aware of what energies we invite in to help us, if we have used alcohol and drugs to escape at any time in life we could have opened ourselves up to an entity moving into our energy field/aura or our actual physical body. A spiritual awakening is spiritual growth, cleansing and purification; freeing us to be all we can be, a heart opening and a connection of spiritual expansion with the divine creator, learning to listen to our inner tuitition/ intuition. A moving away from the ego self and fear into the heart of oneness. Having a look a t Bach's flower remedies Rock Rose is excellent for fear, or Rescue Remedy.

So onto ways to help oursleves through this, understanding it is a big start. There is no particular age that this happens, I have worked with younger people in their teens, to early 20's to older, 40's and 50's.  Spending time in nature, rests and recuperates us. If you are reading this and are worried please use the contact form on my website and contact me. I offer a mentoring service as well as shamanic healing. I have been trough this a few times.Please do be aware that easy and simple methods are better than taking on too much advice that is long and complicated, I find people often want to over analysise everything and this can lead to energy being trapped in our heads. Methods I have found useful are;-

Grounding, seeing ourselves as a tree with deep roots connecting with Mother Earth the iron core crystal at her centre.

Sitting in Nature outside with a real tree asking for help telepathically.

Using an energetic protection shield, an egg shaped orb around ourselfs, a foot above the head and a foot below the feet, keeping us secure inside, and unwanted energies out.

Asking for help and guidance from healing helping loving and compassionate guides, making sure you always say healing helping compassionate and loving guides /gaurdians; as there are false light beings out there waiting for the vulnerable and can and do cause even more distress to us, lead us up the garden by giving us false and misleading information and guidance.

Have some sage or incense, and clean our homes and bodies with it.

Cleansing rituals, use nice smelling relaxing aromatherapy oils or salt.

I also recommend being very kind to our new selves that are emeging, like a new born kitten or puppy we would treat them very gently, something we should do for ourselves too.

Breathing execrcises help too, sit in a quiet space, and follow our breath as we breathe in and out, allow thoughts to come up and go and continue breathing in and out of our stomach area, this connects us to our heart energy field and love.

 Learning to self love and appreciate our good qualities is I found the most difficult challenge. Looking and noticing things in our lives we are grateful for.

Allowing the energy to run where it needs to go. I would apply caution to reiki treatments as sometimes more energy going into the body is not always helpful. I again advise caution for any more energy of any healing methods being further placed into the body without being able to ground them properly.

Yoga or dance, ti chi or chi qong, time in nature is most valuable go with gentle movements, gentle walks.

Even though you seem to be in toatal hell and possessed. (if you think you are possessed please seek help, I do sacred spirit transition/depossession work also). Nothing lasts forever and this process will end even if it feels like it won't. At the end of the tunnel the light.  Along with the peace and love we are seeking is waiting for us to come through, as the only way is through there is no turning back. We are so much more than we realise, and love is the answer always. Please do contact me if you feel you need a healing session or mentoring through this, it does help immensly knowing someone else understands this. I will also make you aware here there is no quick fixes or magic wands, you will be required to lots of work, that can be really painful on many levels, again this is the stuff we need to release that is holding us back from living the life we deserve to live. Much peace, love and laughter, life is like a spiral, and you can revisit the stuff again and again until it is all done with and, we have let it go, surrendered our seperateness.

Within the light is the darkness,  within the darkness is the light,  as above so below, and as within so without. 

** Due to people contacting me about this, can I remind people if you are considering contacting me, I will come from a shamanic perspective, thats what I have trained in, if shamanism is to wacky and weird for you please contact your own GP or Church, I can not come from a christian perspective, as I have no knowledge of that; can I also ask for respect from those contacting me as I am not responsible for what is happening to you.  I no longer offer free healing services. I can place your name on my altar with your intention for free.  I will respond to your email when I recieve them for free, but not unlimited questioning.  Thank you for understanding this.  


The Rear Window View.
I live along the canal and have an amazing hedge between the canal path and my garden.  This hedge is full of wonders for me, perhaps its simplicity others don't understand.  I have never been able to go for long periods of 5 minutes in meditation with my eyes shut, a fact i hear is common for many, even buddhists monks I am told, a very happy to hear.  I sit on my bed looking out into the hedge at my back garden, watching the birds, the little fire crest wren in the pine tree, the other wren darts from tree to bush to hedge.  Sometimes shouting warnings loudly about the cat being in the garden, often this cry is taken up by the every noisy crows and magpies, who then all hop along through the hawthorne and elder to find the intruder, who in reality is no intruder she lives here.  I love the way the sparrows become boisterious and loud over the seeds hanging out on the washing lines.  The song of the blackbirds always helps peace return and to me is pure nectar of the ears, there is no sound in the world as beautiful as birdsong.  You can close your eyes and drift along to the melody of the song gifted us from the creator.  Add to that the sweet scent of the Elder flowers and the flowers of the privet hedge, life becomes truly wonderous, I can then feel the deep seated peace within my heart, mind and soul.  All this without the mind jumping all over the place.  I watch the breeze play through the sycamore tree, I am exhiarated by the winds power blowing the tres around along with being amused at the way the Giant wood pidgeons cling on.  The peace and beauty of a small piece of land that I am every grateful for the view of.  As I write this it is another grey wet day in Scotland and i can hear the gentle cheeping of the sparrows still hiding in the hedge sheltering from the recent rain.  Wishing everyone the deep peace i have from looking out my bedroom window, I feel the world needs more of this.

Why should I pay for healing work?

This is a question I hear ,thrown, in some cases at me quite often. Healing should be free. Well when we are healing and doing our own spiritual work it is. Sometimes we hand it over to someone who has trained in a particular area, like myself for shamanic methods of healing like power retrieval, soul retrieval, extraction, depossession to name some. I paid well in the many thousands for my training to be a shamanic practitioner and then paid to be a shamanic teacher. I accepted this, I also paid to be a Breathwork practitioner again thousands although I have never had a client for this and again likewise with Reiki. If I want my hair cut I pay a hairdresser, a good hairdresser is vital to most people. If I want a massage I pay for a qualified person to give me a massage. Or we can have an energy exchange; and swap therapies. I find that people often do not follow through on honouring their end of the exchange, is 2 days teaching for free where I also provide heat, food and teas acceptable? Is coming along for one or many healing sessions with nothing in exchange really acceptable? Does it honour a persons work?

Why would you not want to pay in some way for this work, I ask that energy is exchanged, so if I teach you for 10 hours of my time I would expect 10 hours of your time in some way. Only far I think. So why do so many people complain about paying for healing? Healing the trauma and the hurts, wounds, grieff and abuses of the past. Regaining our vital life force essence in a power or soul retrieval. I often think well is it really necessary for you to pay £70 for your hair cut, or £25 for your eyebrows to be plucked, or however much for the leg wax. These seem to be willingly paid for so we look good on the outside yet are crying and hurt on the inside but that should be free, seems to be the opiion of many. How about the fact I also pay the shamans I work with in money, they then share this much needed resource out amongst their communities. The poverty that is relieved slightly with my fee that I charge you, that a Naitve American Medicine Person takes into their community when I repectfully pay them for their teachings and healings and helps feed them. Likewise with the Peruvian shamans of the Andes and the Amazon jungle I have respectfully paid. The Nepalese people who had thousands stolen from them via charities when they were hit with the Earthquake in 2015, gratefully recieve the money i pay in return for visiting the shaman for healing, and teaching. The young girls who are finaced to go to school via my fee instead of ending up in the sex trade industry. The women from Uganda who are in poverty desperately needing the finances I sent to help empower themselves out of the poverty. A favorite charity of mine I donate to often is Free the Bears, this woman does amazing work for these beautiful creatures and needs to be able to feed and shelter them, rehabilitate and nurture them; along with the vet bills who do not do it for free. A few things to ponder over when we question the fee we are paying for healing work, we rightly want to look fabulous on the outside, so why do we not want to feel just as fabulous on the inside to. Until we losen our grip on money and are willing to go back to trading with each other then I have to have an energy exchange for my time, this is normally a fee. I understand also that there are people over charging and won't do any healing work for nothing, that is something they have to look at themselves as to why they are doing that, I can not speak for other people I am only responsible for myself.

I learned a hard lesson with charging people as I used to also think healing work should be free, until I became seriously ill twice in 3 years and heard nothing form any of the people who I had given 1, 2 or many free shamanic sessions to and some of these people had quite a few free sessions from me. I never recieved anything back from them in my time of need; no phone calls, no texts no emails definately no offer of shamanic healing; sadly they went on to the next person who could give them a free session. Lessons learned I'm not angry or upset at them they taught me a valuable lesson in honouring myself fully and always have a fair exchange of energy. I am always happy to put names on my altar for free and I give lots of advice and help to people for nothing when I could refer them to my mentoring service, its as always about balance, self love and self respect.  We in truth all have bills to pay one way or another or have to feed ourselves, I hope someday soon we can all see the material world of cherishing money above all else for what it is, money in truth is just energy and it depends how important it is in each of our lives.  


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Bluebird Dreamweaver

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