So many many people seem to be going through spiritual spontaneous awakenings I thought I would share my own experience. Trusting that someone somewhere will find this helpful to them.

Way back in 2007 I started what can only be described as the most hellish phase of my then crappy life that I had ever been through. I had solderied on through the hardships, got angry, got depressed and marched the martyr march right on into the next set of challenges that presented themselves, to me. Nothing or no one would break me, ever, well unless I was in a suicidal phase when I wished for death constantly, any death. As young as age 9 I would imagine how I could die, being stabbed, being hit by a car, strangulation any old way would do just fine. Just so long as I could leave planet Earth behind, actually I loved the wild moors I lived on just the people I couldn't tolerate. So for 40 years I marched my soldier solidarity march, took to drink, drugs, food, smoking, all theses things to plaster my unhealed wounds. Became anti authority (in truth I still am!!) and blamed the system and all the bast***s I had met for my life, and worldly woes.

So around comes the proverbial nearly age 40 syndrome and when you think life and loathing really can not get any worse along comes the sledge hammer to the back of the head so to speak and down you go with a most horiffic and terrifying experience life had brought me so far. (When I look back on this I actually had a milder awakening back in my 20's) I went completely insane. I was sore all over my body like constant flu symptoms minus the flu, had migraines, depressed deeply, saw things you wouldn't think existed, dead people were common seeings, heard voices, was hot /cold, tired /restless, in truth I did not really know what I was. Rage, anger ,irritability were common companions. I went to the Dr as you do, ' You are having a psychotic break, and depression. Take these pills, and get some rest.' Was the advise, as if any other advice would be offered. I asked to be hospitalised for my own safety, and was told no it wasn't possible as iIwas only a danger to myself. Just take the pills, I knew I was not going through depression as depression had been a companion for many many years, this was something much more scary, I was very very afraid. I was very very angry. I was seeing things that did not look good, the dead were scary enough, I became too afraid to sleep, so stressed I couldn't eat, I went down from 13 stone to 6 and half in a few months. This was the most vulnerable I have ever been in my whole life.

This went on and on for month after month totally insanity in my mind, body, soul and spirit. Nearly two years I was like this without any let up. I wasn't on a spiritual path, at the time and did not know what a guide was, never thought of energy going up and down the body, or spine or into the ground or anywhere for that matter. A neighbour and friend of mine was a medium and she introduced me to the idea of guides we could talk to. We were both going through this horrible experience together she in a very similar state to myself, and she told me how she had been so desperate for help she was down on her knees in the local river grabbing up handfuls of stones saying please god someone help me, when I appeared. Hahahaha misery and madness love company maybe. Anyway we researched the symptoms along with the symbols I was seeing in the trees on a regular basis. The creator/universes way of speaking to me.  Creator/universe/god/goddess/divine speaks to us in symbolic sight and metaphor a way of getting our attention.  I also had the often seen by people repeating numbers of 11:11.  (It can be any series of numbers 444 555 888 etc etc). The symptoms came up as Kundalini awakening ( a potential force that once awakened can produce a variety of mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual effects. ) There are many labels spontaneous spirtiual awakening, ascension, dark night of the soul, the awakening can come under however the label matters not, its more how can we deal with this sudden awkening we have been pushed into by our true spiritual selves, maybe like myself, we just have not been listening closely enough and had to have the shove to wake up, to being more than living a pointless human life. In absolute truth this had to happen to me, I was so strong and stubborn nothing was going to get to me, through my layers and layers of armour. Now I am many years down the line and have a better understanding of what happened and maybe why. All that self made armour has had to be taken off, piece by piece. To surrender to my spiritual self was required. I have come a long way from then and sometimes it seems I am still there when the same happens again, to lesser degrees. Over the past 8 years I have through my own experiences helped others come through this traumatic time. It does take patience, as we release what is not serving our true spiritual selves. I now know also that a shock or crisis can trigger the awakening and I had met someone who reminded me of my very dear freind who had died 11 years prior. I had never grieved his loss, or acknowledged how much he meant to me. To suddenly have the grieff hit me awakened me to all the stuff I had stored in my energetic cupboards (the chakras in our bodies) that now and right now burst the doors wide open as no more would fit in and the doors would not be squeezed shut again ever; all at once 40 years of shit had to be cleaned up sorted out and released from me, mind body and spirit, willingly. I was no longer strong, I was broken, smashed to nothing, a quivvering wreck, open, raw and very vulnerable.

There is much information on spiritual awakening crisis and the symptoms vary from person to person, I would advise always having the Drs check you over as well.

As energy can race through our bodies we can experience tingling, restless legs, migraines/headaches, hot or cold extremes, heart palpitations, heat in hands and feet, pain in the charkra points, (the body has 7 main charka points running up the spine that are often blocked and can cause extreme pain in the back). Changes in eating, changes in sleeping patterns, brain fog, confusion, irritability, anger, rage, despair, feeling energy moving in the body, tingling at the top of the head, feeling we have insects crawling all over us. An emotional rollecoaster ride. Old stored thoughts and patterns can and do often come to the surface ready for us to look at acknowledge deal with and release. Feeling life is out of control and you are a total mess. Losing your mind, seeing things out the corner of your eye, seeing the dead, hearing voices, being able to comunicate with animals, plants, trees. The list goes on and on, and each person will have an individual experience as it is what they need to release. In our time of being open we have to be very aware of what energies we invite in to help us, if we have used alcohol and drugs to escape at any time in life we could have opened ourselves up to an entity moving into our energy field/aura or our actual physical body. A spiritual awakening is spiritual growth, cleansing and purification; freeing us to be all we can be, a heart opening and a connection of spiritual expansion with the divine creator, learning to listen to our inner tuitition/ intuition. A moving away from the ego self and fear into the heart of oneness. Having a look a t Bach's flower remedies Rock Rose is excellent for fear, or Rescue Remedy.

So onto ways to help oursleves through this, understanding it is a big start. There is no particular age that this happens, I have worked with younger people in their teens, to early 20's to older, 40's and 50's.  Spending time in nature, rests and recuperates us. If you are reading this and are worried please use the contact form on my website and contact me. I offer a mentoring service as well as shamanic healing. I have been trough this a few times.Please do be aware that easy and simple methods are better than taking on too much advice that is long and complicated, I find people often want to over analysise everything and this can lead to energy being trapped in our heads. Methods I have found useful are;-

Grounding, seeing ourselves as a tree with deep roots connecting with Mother Earth the iron core crystal at her centre.

Sitting in Nature outside with a real tree asking for help telepathically.

Using an energetic protection shield, an egg shaped orb around ourselfs, a foot above the head and a foot below the feet, keeping us secure inside, and unwanted energies out.

Asking for help and guidance from healing helping loving and compassionate guides, making sure you always say healing helping compassionate and loving guides /gaurdians; as there are false light beings out there waiting for the vulnerable and can and do cause even more distress to us, lead us up the garden by giving us false and misleading information and guidance.

Have some sage or incense, and clean our homes and bodies with it.

Cleansing rituals, use nice smelling relaxing aromatherapy oils or salt.

I also recommend being very kind to our new selves that are emeging, like a new born kitten or puppy we would treat them very gently, something we should do for ourselves too.

Breathing execrcises help too, sit in a quiet space, and follow our breath as we breathe in and out, allow thoughts to come up and go and continue breathing in and out of our stomach area, this connects us to our heart energy field and love.

 Learning to self love and appreciate our good qualities is I found the most difficult challenge. Looking and noticing things in our lives we are grateful for.

Allowing the energy to run where it needs to go. I would apply caution to reiki treatments as sometimes more energy going into the body is not always helpful. I again advise caution for any more energy of any healing methods being further placed into the body without being able to ground them properly.

Yoga or dance, ti chi or chi qong, time in nature is most valuable go with gentle movements, gentle walks.

Even though you seem to be in toatal hell and possessed. (if you think you are possessed please seek help, I do sacred spirit transition/depossession work also). Nothing lasts forever and this process will end even if it feels like it won't. At the end of the tunnel the light.  Along with the peace and love we are seeking is waiting for us to come through, as the only way is through there is no turning back. We are so much more than we realise, and love is the answer always. Please do contact me if you feel you need a healing session or mentoring through this, it does help immensly knowing someone else understands this. I will also make you aware here there is no quick fixes or magic wands, you will be required to lots of work, that can be really painful on many levels, again this is the stuff we need to release that is holding us back from living the life we deserve to live. Much peace, love and laughter, life is like a spiral, and you can revisit the stuff again and again until it is all done with and, we have let it go, surrendered our seperateness.

Within the light is the darkness,  within the darkness is the light,  as above so below, and as within so without. 

** Due to people contacting me about this, can I remind people if you are considering contacting me, I will come from a shamanic perspective, thats what I have trained in, if shamanism is to wacky and weird for you please contact your own GP or Church, I can not come from a christian perspective, as I have no knowledge of that; can I also ask for respect from those contacting me as I am not responsible for what is happening to you.  I no longer offer free healing services. I can place your name on my altar with your intention for free.  I will respond to your email when I recieve them for free, but not unlimited questioning.  Thank you for understanding this.  



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