As the world turmoil continues to rise up the taste of hatred is very prominant to me. As we celebrated Imbolc and the returning of the light I was made very aware of the cycle of domestic abuse, that is prominent here in the Scottish culture, in truth the all over the world. With irony it seems to be almost romanticised, "Ahhhhh he's a good man really, until he has a drink etc."!!!!! Unfortunately 'until he has a drink, etc' has become all to common where women help women to mask bruises, with clever make up; and the old story of I walked into a door, I tripped over the cat/dog. Where children go without food unless someone else provides the food, normally another family member. So during my Wisdom Of Words workshop at the weekend this subject appeared and the question asked was "Does the person supplying the food, clothes, money etc enable the abuse?" A very good question, do they indeed? Having this as part of my heritage and also I feel very passionate about healing this cultural wound of what has become accepted as being a man in Scotland to stagger about drunk after spending all the family's money. And for women to be expert at lying about what bruises they wear and allow through fear and confusion to be blamed for someone elses behaviour. Generation after generation these deep deep seated wounds are being continued, there is nothing romantic or loving about lying in your bed as a child to scared to move because your Dad is battering your Mum, or in some cases vice a verca. Not a thing romantic about living in terror of putting a foot wrong or be so afraid you think you are going to die at the hands of the person who claims to love you!! Where is there there anything but control for the rape that continues for many. There is nothing great about constantly worrying about feeding or clothing your children,to  frightened to ask for money from anyone as you will be blamed for losing the houshold money, nothing loving about having to admit you caused the black eye you wear because you spoke up, or out of turn or the many many excuses that people in the abusive role dole out to make their behaviour acceptable and manageable in their own eyes, it is everyone else's fault of course. The victim has most likely been a childhood witness to this pattern that is then imprinted upon themselves. So having been witness to this cycle of abuse in many ways myself, it was also one of the main reasons people came along to me when I was mentoring, I hear it often in my shamanic healing sessions, so what should a person do? Feed and clothe the children or leave them all to it? I have heard this story over and over and over, and in truth if someone doesn't feed or clothe the children then they go without. If someone is not there to take even a small pressure away there is no pleasures just never ending turmoil, fear and confusion. As your mind tells you one story of what your ears hear, and you are told no thats not correct and you better believe it by the family bully. This blog could be seen as me having a go at the abuser so far, however I am aware that the abuser also has a very good reason as to why they can not cope with their own fear, hate and pain, they too have been a victim somewhere, most likely another child witness to the abuse of their parents and the wound that is tearing them apart inside is too painful to deal with along with the imprinted learned behaviours, so they drink, take drugs, gamble, play computer games any thing to escape what is going on inside of themselves. This is why I would so dearly love to see this huge gaping wound healed in our culture, because it is unacceptable to carry this pattern on for anyone in this cycle. I dream that as each of us awaken we share our love far and wide, heal our selves, take responsibility for our reactions and actions, none of us are perfect. Walking the shamanic path is of great benefit to empower our selves away from this continual cycle, where everyone who wants to can empower themselves, to allow themselves the time for the pain to dissolve, the wounds to heal peace of mind body and spirit can be had if a person wants it. This is the true story that we want to hear. With spring in the air and a new years dream dare to breathe deeply into to our hearts, dream bigger of the freedom that can be had, as we allow the divine feminine her rightful place again in our lives.  With peace and grace may we walk in beauty.heartdevilheart


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