ALL LIFE IS SCARED.  Organ donation opt out.
As I was checking in with facebook to see if I had any messages I scrolled past a post about how we in Scotland will soon have to opt out if we do not want our organs donated to save the life of another.  I felt sick to the stomach, and went cold.  Maybe the film Never Let Me Go is still rattling around my head a little too prominently.
I thought this is why people carried Donor cards to say they are willing to donate the parts of them that are useful now they are no longer needing them.  A nurse friend of mine said many family members did not agree with the organ donation so the last wishes of the person were not respected and no donation was carried out.  I believe that we should have looked at this system more than go down the route of the opt out.
I do not like the idea of opt out as it feels to me as though its the medical profession saying, "your dead, you no longer need these organs, we want that part of you for them over there, and that part for him, the eyes for her. " You get the picture.  So meanwhile we have a family who is releived their loved one is getting the much needed donation to improve their quality of life.  I am not against this in any way whatsoever.  Donated organs can save and improve lives, thats a generous thing for another human being to offer upon their death.  Hence the Donor card.
I had a friend some 30 years back recieve a liver via a Donor card donation, I watched this bright vibrant woman go through Hepatitis A turn yellow and become very ill very quickly, all vibrancy depleted.  The liver transplant was a sucess, as she survived she also went through many many rejection scares and the handfuls of medication she was given 3, 4 times a day was shocking.  I watched further as this beautiful young woman struggled with the medication and pain and turned to herion to deal with it all.  In truth this is my only experience and I am sure there are many many many beautiful sucess stories.  I am always happy to hear them and happy that someone generously and willingly gave the organs they no longer needed to create this.
I have had this topic going around my head for the last 3 nights so hoping the blog will clear it as I write it, even if no one ever reads it.
Meanwhile what is happening for the family of the deceased person?  Are they willingly saying yes ok thats good I understand.  Or are they in shock and saying wow! Please hang on a minute that is my son/daughter, wife/husband, mum/dad again you get the picture. I haven't said goodbye yet. Sudden deaths cause shock for people and they do need time to come to terms with it, if in truth they ever do.  Perhaps some comfort will come from the life being given another, I am sure many familys will be comforted by this.
Many in the medical profession are not know for a gentle bedside manner especially in our day and age of high stress as long working hours are the norm.  So here is hoping the family of the deceased person is respected fully, not shoved to the side in the emergency to remove the wanted organs, now with the force of the law on side.
I recently put as my concerns this topic of OPT OUT on my facebook page and then in a shamanic teachers group to see what the general opinions were.  I had a few say we are all one, indeed we are all one, yet we are all seperate individuals as well.  My liver organs cells are not my heart organ cells, and my brain cells are only my brain cells; so even within my own body there is division.  Others came back to say they had been carrying a Donor card for many years, truly generous of them and their choice to offer up this huge gift to others.  Some saw the body as a veichle and once they had left it it was empty and only left the carcuss and the medical profession can do what they want with it.  Ok I am now starting to become uncomfortable with this idea that our body is now no more than a carcuss.  Fair enough the dead may well not know this or hear the organs being discussed on whats going where to whom, then again they may well be stood right there listening, as many a medium and shamanic practitioner would confirm, that the spirit is witnessing what is happening to their body,  "Going hang on a minute there buddy, you what?"  Nothing the deceased can do though, or they may decide to go along with the organ as two fellow shamanic practitioners have moved the spirit of the deceased from the body of the living person who recieved the donated organ from a willing Donor card carrier.  So coming back to the carcuss, seriously this is someone elses loved one who has died for heavens sake, they may not be ready to see their beloved son/daughter,  husband/wife, brother/sister as a carcuss, and this is coming from the spiritual community, this is the unease in part I am feeling. 
 Perhaps the medical profession can pay the funeral costs fair exchange you have the body parts from the carcuss, now it needs disposing of.  Or are they just going to shove it in a box let the family deal with it, their problem now, we have what we want.  What will this familys loved one look like?  Are we going to have counselling for grieving familys to come to terms with their loss or are we going to continue with our societys "suck it up, tough shit, its the law " attitude?
Add to that the no right to decide really from the medical profession, and here in Scotland many a mistake is made and many a file goes missing on a regular basis.  And we must really mention the NHS is collapsing and private handshakes being done with private health care firms that appear dodgy at best.  With little real concern for health, but huge concern for wealth. So is there a finacial gain, how much is an organ transplant going to cost?  Can the person afford that or is there further heartache of I can save their life with this transplant yet I can't afford it.  As I can see the list of possibilities is endless, as endless as the many people here on planet earth.
Another rather beautiful reply was that its a sacred gift to give life to another person in this way once their life had ended it would be an honour as all life is sacred.  Indeed all life is sacred and should be treated as so.  This then brings me to the sadness I feel within as we are being so disrespected in more ways than one and also then brings me off topic, sort of yet health releated. We are being forced into ill health by 5G, lied to when told we will all be having smart meters in our houses by 2020, this is false we do not have to accept the meters no matter what the companies tell us another thing they are not telling us is how ill they are making us.  For our helathy diet we are being given high levels of sugar, its in everything in its many different forms, then add in the bread, potatoes, pasta, all those carbs are sugar in the body. The meat we eat is from an animals in distress being pumped full of steroids and hormones for fast growth, living in appaling conditions, and then chlorinated and passed off to us as safe. Our diet is so unhealthy we are in diabetic crisis, alzhiemers and dementia on the rise. Cancer, Arthritis, MS, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromialgia, Depression to name a few are becoming the norm.  As is the then dubiuous medication we are given to help us live normal lives with any or many of these conditions, and the further medication to counter act the side effects of these primary medications. A huge impact upon our organs; won't be able to use them for donation I would imagine. Is this why the Opt Out has arisen? We have been told by many holistic professionals there is a cure for cancer. (I'm sure many were holistic professionals were killed in America recently, perhaps another conspiracy theory?) So again back to the diet  (the netflix film Magic Pill is a great watch for a deeper view of the dietry topic. Also there is a book called Mad Diet that gives much info)  Yet because it is profitable no alternative holistic options are offered as again the medical profession know best, and we don't want to go down the quack route.  So is our life being treated as Sacred, no not in the slightest, we have GM crops, vile pesticides being sprayed on everything we eat; the real cause of many diseases like Crohns, gluten intolerance etc.  Organic foods are very expensive and wages poor the rise in food banks here in the UK has risen drastically as has the poverty, again nothing Sacred here for our lives. Poor living conditions are not going to create healthy organs for any of us.  We have the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline running through us at high rates just to get through our days.  Not to mention being sprayed regularly with chem trails, or is that another  conspiracy theory?  
I should add here that indeed there are many many wonderful caring people in the medical profession and I am deeply grateful for the care they give so generously.  As there are many many heartfelt Drs/GPs out there who look more into holistic and wholesome health for our benefit of living a life of full health.  This I am not questioning, and for many more they can only advise by what they are taught in medical school/collage/university. I have not been there so do not know what the training is.
So in truth a rather dim view I have on the organ donation opt out topic.  In truth it will help many people live better lives and I'm sure that the many will respect and appreciate the donation.  Again it is not the organ donation I have issue with.  We have the choice by carrying Donor cards.
I do not like nor feel comfortable with the Opt Out as who is to say I am then being listened to by stating that I am sayin NO.  As a parent and grand parent in our increasingly unhealthy society it concerns me greatly that I may out live my children as many many people are, and be the one standing with the carcuss of what was once my loved one.  We should be considering the families here also. There to me feels more like a forced power over energy behind this descion. 
On reading some of the information from NHS about why the change of law I see that we need 8 out of 10 donations to meet the needs of the patients on the organ transplant list.  Why are so many people needing the transplants?  Also if the deceased person is deemed to be a good match for organ donation the family is approached and asked what your decision was regarding organ donation if no information is forthcoming it is considered you/the deceased agreed to the donation and the family would be expected to support that.  This kind of statement leaves me a tad cold, so many times people have asked and pleaded for a loved one going through illness to be please give them that pill only to be refused as too expensive.  Or please let my loved one die in peace, no request refused we have to preserve life.;if you help you will be placed in prison for murder!
A big question is what will happen to the soul of each person, perhaps we can introduce more spiritual based views for each have honouring ceremonies for each organ donated, a ceremony for the deceased and a ceremony for the living.  From a shamanic viewpoint i will bring this into Death and Dying, and being prepared for death have we a written will, do we want our organs donated, if so which ones, does the family know, how do you want your funeral?  All these questions for consideration.
The topic is huge and we will all have our own views about it, I can not state I am right in my concerns neither am I wrong, they are the concerns that I have today and may change in the future. 
 All life is sacred lets treat it that way. 
Thoughts are Like Brambles
Today is a nice warm sunny day here in Scotland, the breeze is a tad chill still, but hey the sun is out and shining, a good day to get out into the graden.  I take myself to the overgrown patch of brambles that I do once a year, that is away up the back of the garden.  I leave this part of the garden wildish.  As I am being snagged and snared with the brambles, I think to myself how like thoughts brambles realy are.  Some we are able to pass by relatively easily, they come they go, they get recycled no bother.  Whilst others are running along just below the surface of the earth, like our nerves, and about every 20 inches there is new growth from this runner, still hidden below the surface, but the green sprouts are aiming for the sky.  As I was mulling over this thinking my granddaughter who is nearly 10 joined me to help, and I was explaining to her the metaphorical meaning of using the brambles as thoughts for our worries and woes.   Saying to her this is why we need to keep a rein on our thinking so it does not run wild and free and become the overgrown jungle like the back garden.  We moved to remove the old brown brambles from the Pine tree, and they snagged and pulled my hair, then caught the other brambles that I had already pulled out and placed into the box ready to be composted, they tangled themselves in hooking on tight as can be, as I walked along these brambles pulled open my skin, stuck the thorns in and then dragged along the hooked ones from the box.  As we are still in explaining the metaphorical sense of inner gardening for our thoughts, my grandchild wisley asks me how can you stop this from happening.  Now that is a very excellent question, as for anyone who does gardening and knows the work of removing brambles.  Thinking about this as our thoughts is a task indeed.  So I showed her that some came away easily indeed, these are the fleeting thoughts we don't hold onto.  Then showed her the old brown dead brambles up the Pine tree, still there holding on but long died.  These thoughts are finished with and just need clearing away.  The roots of the runners below the ground, hidden and sneaking along with the fresh new shoots are the thoughts that are running away with us, be they fears, this is the fears we will see grow, unless we halt them in their tracks and pull them out.  "How do we do that?" She asks.  We change our way of thinking, so when we feel afraid we take a step back and ask ourselves what are we really afraid of, why are we afraid?  Feel it deep within us, is a right fear?  Or a not right fear?  Fear is with us  to help in correct circumstances and helps us remove ourselves from danger, like the snagging of the brambles.  A not right fear like a paranoia that for example no one likes me, is untrue, not everyone can ever like everyone else, and the same not everyone can dislike everyone, there is always someone they like. Yet we can choose to engage with some people and choose to aviod others.  So as we grow in awareness keep a check on our thoughts, of fear and anger and paranoia, and yes even to being too positive as that can also be like a bramble, our thoughts are real alive and growing, depends how you nurture and nourish them and what you want to grow.  A little internal gardening is as helpful as a little external gardening. With our thoughts we create our future.  Perhaps a little journey here to see what inner work we need to do,.
Thoughts are like Brambles.
Thoughts are like brambles,
snagging and snarling, 
some brambles coming away easy and free,
some brambles digging themselves in
stubborn as can be.
Thoughts are like brambles,
some fresh and green,
drifting on by,
easy to be seen.
Thoughts are like brambles, 
some old and withered, brown and died
yet still there keeping us tied.
Thoughts are like brambles,
some sneaky and deep, 
churning in our minds, 
depriving us of sleep.
Thoughts are like brambles,
aiming for the sky,
all the while, 
keeping us caged in an internal lie.
Thoughts are like brambles, 
when cherished and tamed,
bears the fruit,
of our intentions named.
Thank you for reading, please do respect  my work it is written by me, acredited please accordingly. 

Here is a link to some of the amazing work Bhola does, please enjoy the viewing.  Having worked now since 2015 with Bhola and been to Nepal twice on his sacred shamanic pilgrimages, and just about to hold his second event here in Scotland, I can honestly say I have been waiting to meet an teacher of such depth and integrity. 

Here is a link to his Sacred Shamanic pilgramages and other workshop/courses he holds, along with his wife Mimi at times as well.  You would not be disappointed in going.


The Day I Met Callieach / Baba Yaga.

Much is spoken off in our  Celtic heritage and culture of The Callieach, the ancient divine hag being, the veiled one,  the Queen of the winter months, who comes to help us rest and restore ourselves in the most simple of terms I loosely say this, with absolutely no offence being meant. It would not be a good idea to offend Callieach.

This was just after my 1st trip to Nepal for a sacred spiritual pilgramage with my shamanic teacher/experience sharer, guide and Dad, (thats another story for my long awaited book). To accept the long awaited healings I so badly needed with all the many shamans we visited as a group.

I came home and was feeling all clean and shiny pure and with vibrant health, and not really wanting to mix my sacred clean being with the joe public of unawareness. I was also feeling very disconnected with my guides, I had had a new power animal appear to me whilst in Nepal the beautiful gentle graceful energy of Reindeer, complete with antlers. So in order to re-connect I decided to go and sit in circle with fellow shamanic practitioners, I decided on doing the beautiful course I love so much Death and Dying and the role of the Psychopomp; for a few days through in Glasgow with a fello shamanic practitioner and shamanic teacher also trained and apporved by Sandra Ingeman like myself. So I duly state my intention same as everyone else does in the circle, my intention to reconnect with my guides and work with the new power animal of Reindeer. Everytime I thought of Reindeer I could feel my face changing and antlers growing out the top of my head, a huge halo light around them and I could feel the cold crisp winter air, and when journeying seeing an Eskimo woman in a blue coloured dress. I was confused as the Reindeer was defianetly female I know she is female, yet she has antlers confused and not trusting myself. It was a felo shamanic participant who clarified this for me saying the female reindeer has antlers, ( so those who pull santas sleigh are female, a story for the kids come xmas). Intentions falling into place nicely and quickly manifested, as I absorb this information, blessed to trust my knowing and doubly blessed to have it voiced.

The workshop carried on as it was planned and I think it was day 2 and we were asked to connect to our guides and today we would be working with The Callieach, ok only if we are really wanting too. I'm not overly confident here as she isn't familiar to me and most certainly not one of my guides, so I opt out and choose my every familiar energy of St Francis to be connecting with, so there we all are in circle drumming away, embracing our guides waiting to see who will be the next Callieach in the circle of people. I continue to allow St Francis' energy to flow through me, when I notice the monks clothing is a little scratchy on my left leg, i lower my hand and scratch, when I re-focus I seem to be in a circle of Buffalo hide clad women myself included, little odd that I think, I'm not overly connected to Native American Medicne peoples, its beautiful and I enjoy it immensely for the a wee whilely, before I again notice my left leg is itchy, back to scratching and thinking my psorasis is well playing up today, yet wait a minute i don't have psorasis there, not even a small patch, let alone the huge 20 inch patch that is itching. Bloody chicken mites I grumble to myself. What I think to myself, I don't have chickens. Most cetainly do not have chicken mites on my leg, on a patch of psorasis that doesn't exist. The next thing I know my hand that is scratching my leg, is shrinking up as is my left leg, my foot turns into a claw, dare I even think like a chickens foot, my left eye, opens abruptly at the same time my right eye squeezes shut. "We have a new Callieach." I hear the course facilatator say. Oh good god No. Hahaha, you have to laugh, I was totally hoodwinked here.  Limping along scratching my leg, I'm sure my normally dark hair with grey granny streaks is now fully grey.

So up Callieach steps within my body, chuckling and cackling all the way at indeed how wise she is. And takes centre stage as she continues to laugh, "Little girly didn't think she was letting me in did she?" Hahahaha "Little did girly know" she laughs a tad maniaclly at the circle of people. I am stunned silent, that takes a lot for me, I can yap indefinatley as those who know me know.  She refers to me as 'girly' through out the ceremony.

I am Callieach and she is me, we blend as one, although we are also seperate, she continues to hoot and crackle at my expense via my own mouth using my own voice to do so. Her energy and power is amazing as she invites a group participant to step forward and have a healing ceremony with her. The occasional scratch of the left leg, along with the no nonsense detemination to do the cermony, in her own cackling way.  'Girly'  here allowing the work of depth to be done.  Callieach is sending the lost stuck ancestors to the realm of those who have already died.  Healing the hurts and wounds within. Giving herbal advice which is hopefully helpful.  Stirring the cauldron on the fire outside her wooden hut in the ancient woods. 

As the ceremony ended she takes her leave of my body and away she goes chuckling humourously no doubt still at my naive expense. I come back to my self, feel my eyes return to a shocked and suprised look , my withered leg and arm return to normal and no more itchy red patch. She has departed, for now. My long hair no longer white resuming its original very dark brown. I now laugh almost as manically as she as I say " I wasn't expecting that, she totally conned me." In my own voice, stretching out my own arms and legs very amused and amazed and in awe. I have heard of Callieach often, and now I have experienced her incredible energy. She is now one of my guides, so if you ever come along for a healing session and I start cackling and the likes you know who has appeared, you are in the presence os the Divine Deity, Wise Woman Callieach. I have also her sister Aine or perhaps her in another aspect as one of my guides. Thank you for reading. Please do not copy this without my permission as it is for my book and about my personal experience. I thank you kindly.  The image is of a stone that I painted for a friends wedding gift, please do not use the picture.  As I finish writing and add to my bluebird-dreamweaver facebook page I hear her whisperings as she stirs within and calls me to visit her special places in Scotland.  I will visit her stones very soon.  We were graced that day each of us in our own unique way with a blessing from Callieach of which I give much humble and heart felt thanks. 



A Depossession Update. 2018.  
About 3 years ago I wrote about spirit possession, and the work of compassionate depossession I had trained inrecently (  My guides in truth soon took over and pointed me the way that they wanted me to go with the depossession work and it became Sacred Spirit Transition. Much of what I learned about compassionate depossession was changed by my guides and I was given other methods of psychopomp and deposession; different ways of helping our loved ones and other earthbound spirits carry on with their souls journey by making the transition from this life to the next, instead of getting stuck here on earth and becoming earthbound.  Well not long after I wrote the article I became ill, it gradually got worse and worse.  I had low energy, was drained, exhausted and in much inflammation pain, along with constant nausea and on the verge of having a migrane.  I had the checks and bloods and liver and kidney checks at the Drs along with the peri-menopauseal checks, all clear on everything, even on low iron. I was convinced I had low iron! Over the months it got so bad I couldn't get out of my bed I was so tired, a 20 minute walk was like a half marathon run. So after 2 and a half years of this I had had enough, the confusion was immense going into shops and not knowing what simple items like marg, milk and cat food were.  I have had my cat a long time shes 14 now so I should know what a cat is.  I didn't even understand my name!  Anyway I would stare blankly at items on my shopping list, go blank at times and then numb out, I couldn't feel my body. It was as thogh I wasn't here at all.  All very odd and indeed not normal very far from being normal and ok, yet nothing back from the Drs, all tests normal, whatever that may be or mean. What is noramal anyway?! So last New Year I had had enough of being bed ridden exhausted and unwell, and not knowing who I was I decided to contact my now Nepalese Shamanic teacher Bhola and ask him if he had space on his trip in Nepal in september 2017.  Thank-fully he had space left and I booked on to the spiritual trip he does anually where we meet with local Shamans.  From January to September was a huge struggle I was still spending much time in bed sleeping or going out and being confused, drained and blanking out.  Thankfully someone else decided to go on the spiritual trip too and we went together, no getting lost on route for me.  Whilst visting local Shamans and being witness to the long preparation of the ceremony and then being asked to go up to the shamans one at a time, we were told what we needed to know, and I was shocked at what I needed to know was that I had a spirit attachment of a rather unplesant kind, well WTF, wow that was very interesting I was thinking I had seen it a few times, and then the subtle underming of the self confidence, the draining of energy, confusion, all of it.  I was so happy to be told it would be gone that evening.  Back to normallity.
In truth anything but back to normallity, I spend the next year wondering about my whole shamanic journey, wondering and questioning about my life, where was I going, what was I doing, what did I believe in.  Everything was gone and I was even more confused than ever, although I was confused about my life path I could shop and did know who I was and who my cat was, no longer tired and drained of energy, in fact very bright and with it, I felt totally clean and free.  Witha huge amount of questions.
I came to the understanding through the year that often the beings we think are psychically attacking us are us ourselves.  With our own thoughts, deeds and words we create our reality and we attack ourselves.  This is of course not always the case, but it is the case none the less, we can stop much of whats happening by looking at how we speak to ourself.  We can do the required work we are given by shamans and shamanic practitioners, no-one has a magic wand to wave over us to make it stop permanently, and if we don't change ourselves somewhere it will keep happening to us, either from ourself or from the many other beings who are earthbound or from elsewhere.  We can give time and patience to ourself and determination to keep doing what stops it happening. With compassion and respect for who we are. I can say I am now free of the night attacks, the voices, the anger, the depression and confusion caused by this other being, or was it myself?! I can also say I have a much better understanding of myself and where I have invited this energy to me, in a blind rage of an arguement.  This being the way I myself invited it in, like energy goes with like energies.  When we are full of vital life force energy and are vibrant we don't have earthbound entities sticking in our energy fields, disrupting us confusing us and the like.  Power retieval and Soul retrieval are always helpful to us with this work as is extraction to remove blocks, illness, and thought patterns that create the invites for spirit attachment and possession.  Much of the daily work I do now has lifted me out of doom gloom and self hatred, and lack of self worth many many of us have.  It can take time and does take work on each of our own parts, I can't say that what works for me works for someone else but we can explore what works for each of us.  Having the added bonus of Bhola my Nepalese Shamanic Teacher has definately helped me to work through the attachment, then I have my spirit guides and gardians and the powerful understanding of how the earthbound got attached in the first place.  So its a little like start loving, or at least liking and definately respecting yourself and it will stop happening, with work of a dedicated nature.  As always i may well be updating this again in a few years with more understanding as life progresses, I may well even update and say i believe something totally different as we continue to grow to being our wonderful beautiful selves.  Thank you for reading, many kind regards.


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Bluebird Dreamweaver

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