Crocodile, Heron and Feeling Lost. (25th/7th/2023)Its been quite a length since I last wrote anything, being lost and felt disconnected from everything, in my rather hectic housing situation over the last few years. In a nutshell, my prior housing was a private rent , I had been there 10 years. But after the whole covid lockdown experience to come out to huge price hikes with food and energy hitting everyones pockets deeply. The landlady decided to sell so notice to quit was given. With the council selling off huge stocks back in the 80's social housing was a dire situation, again in a nutshell I was number 756th in line to be housed so had a long lenghty wait causing much much stress. On top of this it opened up all the cptsd from the 12 years I had spent homeless in my younger years. When I say homeless at age 18, I mean living on the streets, sleeping in car parks and doing dustbins for food, rather than a local council homeless flat in town. In my years I lived in caravans, slept under bridges, in abandoned buildings, squatted, and joined the socially undesiderable on the hippie drop out scene that became the New Age Travellers brand by some obscure and propaganda driven newspapers that we would have used to light our fires with, dug out of a bin from someplace, someone else's garbage tossed aside. (Anyways I digress out of the nutshellhere and will save the rest for my book I will write one day.)So as we know moving is normally stressful, as is waiting on being allocated a property to live in. I was so stressed that I disconnected with source, felt abandoned by guides, which was in correct as I was getting dream guidance, I had a clear dream that showed me a sycamore leaf, big and lying on the pavement, yellowing in colour. This did indicate Autumn sometime. Months and months later I walked past a huge yellowing sycamore leaf and said to myself, i have been allocated a property. Indeed I had been, 2 days later I got the notification of the property allocated. 1 month later I moved in. Grateful to have a roof over my head. However the winter was now upon us and the gas heating did not work, on top of this the gas bill was estimated, beyond a joking matter at £122 every 2 weeks for nothing in -8 weather. 4 months this went on, until spring arrived. Needless to say my rage, frustration stress was up there at full throtle maximum; and had been for months all while trying to still deal with CPTSD of my actual living on the streets years. My spiritual disconnect was fully complete, I could hear no guidance, dreamt of nothing but traumatic events, did not get my altar belongings out I left them packed in their box. I even stopped believing there was any such thing as source or guides for a while. Lost, abandoned, disorientated, I remeber saying to a friend, " I will not put my altar or spiritual stuff back up it can just stay in a box, I can not take constantly being broken down to rebuild myself repeatedly over and over, f*** the spiritual healing journey path." As spring was awakening in Nature i decided to go for a walk around the new area I now had lived in for 3 months, and discovered beautiful trees and the nearby river Carron. A breath of blessed beauty, as i stood looking down at the river, i saw a shape appear. Crocodile. Well now I have completly lost the plot and my insanity is obvious to me, we do not have Crocodiles in Scottish rivers. I laughed to myself, maybe a wee bit manically. I decided to continue my walk up to town, there lying on the pavement outside of a shop was a childs tiny wooden Crocodile toy. I was going to pick it up but didn't. I passed it 3 times. A few days later I passed a small boy wearing a Crocodile print jacket, as I walked by he he opened his arms and went snap snap, moving his arms like a Crodiles mouth. Okay definatley something going on here with Crocodile; but what. Literally 3 days later my shamanic teacher/mentor Bhola asked what we would like the theme to be for our annual summer retreat here in Scotland. No bloody idea considering I am so disconnected from spirit I think. Mmmmmm , oh well I did see Crocodiles recently is my vague response, did we do a zoom about Crocodile goddess sometime. Indeed we did. So this year we did our shamanic retreat . Akalinda devishwari is the goddess who rides on the back of a Crocodile. She who is never not broken. The Crocodile uses its powerful jaws to disorintate its prey. I had definately been the prey in Croc's jaws, and disorintation was the name of the game. We journeyed to Akalinda during our retreat, she appeared in my journey where the Heron had been standing on the opposite side of the river where I had 1st seen in ordinary reality the shape of the Crocodile in the river. Her message was powerful, she asked me to release what I was holding as I no longer needed it. I stood playing my drum with tears streaming down my face, she handed me a trident giving me my power back, and acknowledging the warrior spirit within. I realised I had never been abandoned, I was never seperated from source, my strength of spirit had carried me through, and my walk in Nature had been my reconnection. Another dark night of the soul navigated.The topic I offered was so very apt for many people on the retreat. Although in truth I didn't really choose the topic, the spirit of Crocodile and the River Spirit who was with Heron choose to be heard and understood to help us navigate, endure and triumph in a world who is ever decreasing in spiritual wellbeing.
THIS SHOULDN'T BE HAPPENING TO A SPIRITUAL PERSON.Being Spiritual doesn't save you from life.A strange sounding title for what I am about to explain. So many many years ago, way back when I was 18, I was made homeless, through unskillful propositioning of my then Landlord who had keys to my flat. The basic deplorble bottom line was have to be sexually assulted, raped and abused by him or be homeless. Is this really a choice, yes its a choice. I became homeless, sleeping in carparks or squats or peoples spare floor space or couches. The same story kept following me though, sexual abuse, rape and sexual assault. All of which have happened to me many times to many to count. I ended up in and out of accomadation private rent accomadation on and off, and eventually went and joined the huge travelling community that was around in the late 80's. I was No Fixed Abode ie homeless for 10 years. I was quite settled as such in this way of life which in truth was no picnic either. When I write my book I will go into more details of what happened, as this is a blog keeping it in a nutshell. So along came the criminal justice bill and the violent clearing of the travelling community, who were placed back into houses. The integration back into a society that had ignored us at best was incredibly difficult for me. I eventually did get used to it. But there in the background was of course my unresolved past; which ended up causing me Fibromyalgia and Arthritis, both being incredibly painful physical manifestations in the body. Both being hard to deal with so I then ended up with chronic fatigue living a life in pain or so exhausted I was unable to get up without serious effort to go to the toilet. Eventually and the long 5 years it took to get a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia chronic fatigue and the underlying issue PTSD. There we have it the PTSD of the past , survival stress and truama energy has trapped itself into my body, creating the physical manifestations of what I am carrying around with me, in a huge sack that would make Santa's sack look miniscule. Dragging these so called gifts that I came back to experience in this human life , a little irony there as I am not a believer in this spirtual bypass narative, that makes my abusers/rapists heroes helping me to my path of enlightenment. So another 3 years slide by whilst I wait on the NHS lists to have one to one counselling for the PTSD that has to go, be resolved be put to sleep iteself. I have to free myself from the past if I want my health. Which I do want very much, I want to be alive and happy and have freedom of movement without wincing and cringing at every step. So finally and happy days the counselling comes along, like waitng for buses though. Fed up with the lengthy wait on NHS lists, Strathclyde university were looking for volunteers to help their psychology students work with people with mental health issues. So I signed up, and a week later my NHS counselling dates also came through. Both were to start in January 2022. Hallejah, double dose thank you this will get me sorted and free to live a peaceful contented life. Not sure if people remember the "whack whack ooooppppsss" of the show games when the questions were wrongly answered the big buzzer goes off and a big cross shows. Well this it what it felt like, as no sooner did I get thes long awaited dates to begin what could be a lenghty process as i relive the past events. As life would have it I also got a Notice To Quit my private rental home of 9 years. Take a deep deep breath Maggie, but don't forget to exhale, take it a step at a time too. Breath and wtf , you could not make this shit up. This has hugely triggered off the homeless issues from way back between 18 - 28 years of my life, not just the sexual assaults, rapes and abuse. The violence from the police, the hatred and judgement from society, who hated the travelling community, spurned on by the media to a big extent. The powerlessness from each successive government that did little to help the homeless issues. so here I sit after 35 years of first becoming homeless staring this monster in the face again. This time whislt going through counselling for the truama and stress created from this. It's very very paradoxical to me. So thankfully I have been following a spiritual path for a few years, during lockdown more intensively with my shamanic teacher, mentor Bhola Banstola, a Nepelese Shaman of 27 generations, grounded wise and sincere in the trainings he has so generously shared. This has helped me more than I can even begin to imagine. I can stay grounded, in my body, focused calm and present. Can't say the stress and fear doesn't get to me of course it does, I am human. So does the anger and powerlessness of stupid government policies, that still drag out a pointless agenda of suffering, cause me sleepless nights. That could with a little logic be resolved. To empower people rather than stress them out and traumatise them. Yes I am anarcistic at heart and dislike power hungry politicians who grab media attention whilst ignoring important topics. Yet thats for another day to resolve this deep mistrust of the very system that failed me and countless others. But here we are, so being spiritual does not stop these things happening to you. Being spiritual does give me tools I can choose to use wisely to help myself navigate through this crisis. Often I forget them. However learning to self regulate is a big self healing I am learning. Self soothing without drugs, 30 years off them. Self soothing without alcohol, been sober 17 years. Self soothing with compassion, very much still learning. Self love and kindness, is a work in progress. Do I blame myself, no I do not blame myself, I do blame the system that failed me repeatedly, and is again failing to support me, as i say a work in progress and maybe just maybe the anarcist will learn to trust the system. First though she has to shed the issues created the PTSD, trust herself, approve of herself. And allow the self soothing patterns to establish themselves within so they become the new narrative. Be kind, be gentle, be nurturing.
Some ways to self regulate, exercise, tai chi, qi gong, yoga there was a really good trauma yoga i found; going for a walk in nature. There are some really great youtube videos of 10 minutes practice that do not overwhelm us. You can do them whilst waiting for a kettle to boil.
Song, singing chanting mantras. Make sure the song is generating the right respnses we need. Angry music will generate anger etc, you get the picture.
Mindfulness, if its for you. I found walking and keep noticing my feet on the ground really feeling them there. Really feeling myself in my body, relaxing my tense muscles if and when needed.
When eating being fully present to the experience, rather than eating for the sake of eating as quickly as possible. Savour the food.
Cooking was great I learned I did actually like spicy foods, and have tried new foods i fancy.
Self massage I used a magnesium body butter with essential oils I liked the smell of. Each oil has its own benefits. Gently focused on releasing all my stuck and held tension. Can also have a massage therapist do it for you.
Gratitude, what do I appreciate in life, can do this anytime of the day even have a visual image of things we like, and appreciate.
At bedtime I really liked this one before going to sleep I would lie and relax from head to toe, and say to myself I am peaceful, I am relaxed, etc anything you want to be really.
A daily practise helped me to start to shift where my focus was going to go rather than where it has been dragging me. Anyways it all takes the time and commitment to do, and after seeing the quote "who do I want to be when I open my eyes?" Was a truly eye opening thought provoking statement from Dr Joe Dispenzia.As always thanks for reading. This work does belong to me so please ask before taking it if you are considering it. I don't mind it being shared. www.bluebird-dreamweaver.co.uk.
The Voice of Addictions.
The nature of addictions is not plesent, I have been sat thinking of this this morning, I quite often hear kids saying gleefully oh I am addicted to such and such a game.You see the games being advertised as this is so addictive you just want to try it and you will never put it down again. Others stating with a smile "I am a sugar addict" I have no idea if its helping me to state "I Am An ADDICT" Think about that, close your eyes and see what it is you think of as an addict; and the image it conjurers up, I have a disgusted feel to my mouth, and the image of a very thin person in dirty clothes and unwashed greasy lank hair, with all the sores around the mouth, bruised eyes sunken in. My obvious image a drug addict, what was yours.I have been stuggeling with yet another addiction all this year has brought up the intensity of the urges the purges the despair the crying the I really can't live like this, and I can't cope. Anyone with an addiction I would image has felt like this. The guilt, the shame, the blame, the why me's.My first addiction was food, anything containing sugar was binged, stolen and binged uncontrollably, I was a kid of about 9 and already a problem was developing. I started smoking at age 11 so the habit of food was replaced by the cigarettes, with it comes some excitement of rule breaking and coolness. Next i progressed to alcohol at 14, again cool and getting drunk at school. Not so too cool for school, years later when stumbling along the streets ofExeter or Edinburgh looking for a doorway to sleep in thats not already occupied by another lost homeless soul. Then 4 years later at 18, came the drugs, amphetamines filled the gap of confidence and sorted the weight out too. Acid/LSD sorted the weird and wacky side, heroin and coke were rarer indulgences as was ectasy, had hash/canabis agreed with me it would have been on the list, but it gave me massive paranoid panic attacks, so this indulgence was not for me and left well alone. So in truth anything went definately the intravenous drugs, so bad that I would go to local toilets and use the toilet water from the toilet if i could get it nowhere else. Arms, hands, feet and legs so bruised and stabbed up from trying to fruitlessly inject something, even that became an addiction, the injecting. I would sit crying because i could not get the fix. Although even if i did get the fix it wasn't enough, or didn't last. Always chasing the first ever fix I had. This was my life for 4 short years. When I had an alcohol addiction I drank so much that I was sick, litterally sick in to the bathroom sink, could see blood in the vomit, yet after I would wipe my mouth and take another drink. I finally kicked the habit with no looking back after 20 odd years. I was fortunate I did not require a hospital stay, I managed it myself at home. I removed myself from all who supported the habit. Yet it again followed the same destructive path. Finally after 33 years I managed to quit smoking, in truth it took me numerous attempts and 3 years of trying but quit I did oddly i had just bought a large pouch of tobacco which I smoked about 5 out of, then quit no issues no craving no anything the smoking was done finally.So this now brings me full circle back to the first addiction, the first habit, the first destruction, Sugar. This deadly substance is more addictive than all the others put together. You move away from drugs, leave the scence and people far behind same with alcohol and drinking. Smoking you have to go and find the smoking sheds, funny how you can hear the addiction and habit speaking the words you once spoke too, "You get a better conversation at the smoking shed" Do you really? Or is it your habit looking for company, stringing you along in a falsehood. How would you know what conversation is happening away from the smoking shed, the pub's and the drug house. You are not in the other room so to speak. I am not judging, smiling because I have been there and used those same words.So not only am I an addict, I am a self sabotage extrodinare, thinking we have sorted the addictions only to find we have replaced them time and time again with another addiction.Sugar has been by far the worst so far, I can not escape it by leaving the temple, the club, the pub, the den, the friends. I sit with tears running down my face my as i sit over the toilet bowl again being sick this time self induced, to purge out the biscuits, ice cream, pancakes, chocolate bars by the dozen from the 5 shops i have deliberately passed to purchase my despair into destruction. Yet hide my shame and guilt incase i am being judged by the cashier on the amount of chocolate I am buying. Pretending its for the kids, when its really not. Its all for me myself and I alone. Or perhaps its for my brother despair, sister despondencey, niece and nephew shame and blame, and cousins guilt and destrruction. Anyone reading this who has done the same will know the compulsion and the shame that go hand in hand with the need to do this. Yet here I am I live alone so how can I hide it from myself? I try and hide the amount of chocolate bars I have actually eaten in one session from myself. In they go mindlessly like a conveyor belt, no thinking to it no tasting it, just get them in. I eat them quicker than I did taking my time walking around the Tesco superstore, which incidentially i
The nature of addictions is not plesent, I have been sat thinking of this this morning, I quite often hear kids saying gleefully oh I am addicted to such and such a game. Others stating with a smile "I am a sugar addict" I have no idea if its helping me to state "I Am An ADDICT" Think about that, close your eyes and see what it is you think of as an addict; and the image it conjurers up, I have a disgusted feel to my mouth, and the image of a very thin person in dirty clothes and unwashed greasy lank hair, with all the sores around the mouth, bruised eyes sunken in. My obvious image a drug addict, what was yours.I have been stuggeling with yet another addiction all this year has brought up the intensity of the urges the purges the despair the crying the I really can't live like this, and I can't cope. Anyone with an addiction I would image has felt like this. The guilt, the shame, the blame, the why me's.My first addiction was food, anything containing sugar was binged, stolen and binged uncontrollably, I was a kid and already a problem was developing. I started smoking at age 11 so the habit of food was replaced by the cigarettes, with it comes some excitement of rule breaking and coolness. Next i progressed to alcohol at 14, again cool and getting drunk at school. Not so too cool for school, years later when stumbling along the streets of Edinburgh looking for a doorway to sleep in thats not already occupied by another lost homeless soul. Then 4 years later at 18, came the drugs, amphetamines filled the gap of confidence and sorted the weight out too. Acid/LSD sorted the weird and wacky side, heroin and coke were rarer indulgences as was ectasy, had hash/canabis agreed with me it would have been on the list, but it gave me massive paranoid panic attacks, so this indulgence was not for me and left well alone. So in truth anything went definately the intravenous drugs, so bad that I would go to local toilets and use the toilet water from the toilet if i could get it nowhere else. Arms, hands, feet and legs so bruised and stabbed up from trying to fruitlessly inject something, even that became an addiction, the injecting. I would sit crying because i could not get the fix. Although even if i did get the fix it wasn't enough, or didn't last. Always chasing the first ever fix I had. This was my life for 4 short years. When I had an alcohol addiction I drank so much that I was sick, litterally sick in to the bathroom sink, could see blood in the vomit, yet after I would wipe my mouth and take another drink. I finally kicked the habit with no looking back after 20 odd years. I was fortunate I did not require a hospital stay, I managed it myself at home. I removed myself from all who supported the habit. Yet it again followed the same destructive path. Finally after 33 years I managed to quit smoking, in truth it took me numerous attempts and 3 years of trying but quit I did oddly i had just bought a large pouch of tobacco which I smoked about 5 out of, then quit no issues no craving no anything the smoking was done finally.So this now brings me full circle back to the first addiction, the first habit, the first destruction, Sugar. This deadly substance is more addictive than all the others put together. You move away from drugs, leave the scence and people far behind same with alcohol and drinking. Smoking you have to go and find the smoking sheds, funny how you can hear the addiction and habit speaking the words you once spoke too, "You get a better conversation at the smoking shed" Do you really? Or is it your habit looking for company, stringing you along in a falsehood. How would you know what conversation is happening away from the smoking shed, the pub's and the drug house. I am not judging, smiling because I have been there and used those same words.So not only am I an addict, I am a self sabotage extrodinare, thinking we have sorted the addictions only to find we have replaced them time and time again with another addiction.Sugar has been by far the worst so far, I can not escape it by leaving the temple, the club, the pub, the den, the friends. I sit with tears running down my face my as i sit over the toilet bowl again being sick this time self induced, to purge out the biscuits, ice cream, pancakes, chocolate bars by the dozen from the 5 shops i have deliberately passed to purchase my despair into destruction. Yet hide my shame and guilt incase i am being judged by the cashier on the amount of chocolate I am buying. Pretending its for the kids, when its really not. Its all for me myself and I alone. Or perhaps its for my brother despair, sister despondencey, niece and nephew shame and blame, and cousins guilt and destrruction. Anyone reading this who has done the same will know the compulsion and the shame that go hand in hand with the need to do this. Yet here I am I live alone so how can I hide it from myself? I try and hide the amount of chocolate bars I have actually eaten in one session from myself. In they go mindlessly like a conveyor belt, no thinking to it no tasting it, just get them in. I eat them quicker than I did taking my time walking around the Tesco superstore, which incidentially if you go via the self service tills no one is judging the amount you purchase. Not that they are anyway in truth just your little old self shame talking to you. The twins Cain and Abel seated on opposite shoulders.The eternal battle of the self. Oh for fucks sake I am an addict. I need help. I have to do this but I don't know why. No one feels for the obese overeater pre diabetes 2 , like they do for other addicts, much more sympathy goes towards the drunk, the junkie, the gambler,the shop lifter; the obsevive excersier. Yet an addict they are, compulisive unable to stop.Probably sounds all too familiar to anyone who has read this far. So what is the real reason, for this behaviour. I can not kid myself into thinking its only a passing phase, with a smile on my face saying I am an addict. It's been 50 odd years so a long passing phase is it? What void are we addicts trying to fill? What are we trying not to feel? What do we not want to see or hear? What do we want to feel? In the words of Pink from the Wall, Why are you running away? The wound can't be as bad as the destructive soothing that is being carried out. Time to pop down that rabbit hole Alice.
Blessings of peace and thanks for reading
Today, tonight in truth I hold my first shamanic group in Falkirk Dawson Education Centre. As always asking the spirits of my Ancestors to be with me, seems about right as we draw ever closer to Halloween, Samhain. As always asking my guides gaurdians and the spirits of the land of Falkirk to nurture this growth, to support me to bring love and harmony to the area I live. So last night I had a wonderful dream, in which a friend of mine who died about 9 years ago, around about this time of year. He appeared and asked for healing, I asked my guides and called in the energy of them to carry out the healing on my friend. As I shoke the rattle over my head I felt spirit power running down my arms into my heart. I looked at my friend lying on the cushions below me, I lent over hum and blew the returned soul essence that was his. It was a long long gentle breath, I then sat him up and said "I love you." He asked me what I had said, again I repeated louder for him as I hugged him "I Love You."
Wishing us all a blessed day on re-connecting with those who have gone before us. May we all be at peace.
29th October 2019.
SOUL RETRIEVAL- NEVER TRAIN ONLINE.
It came to my notice yesterday that fellow teachers of Sandra Ingermans were advertising to do Soul Retrieval online. Beggars belief really, Sandra has always quite cleary stated that she does not want the Soul Retrieval training being done online. Please do check her website for what she say about that ( www.shamanicteachers.com.) https://www.sandraingerman.com/…/soulretrievaltraining.html…
Please do yourself and those you are considering working with a great service, by doing the trainings in person, it can not be authentically trained online. This then raises the question of wether you would really want to do any training with that person after that, if they can be unethical in that way how else are they being unethical? I leave you to decide.
In a time when things are so chaotic, and unpredictable, many many buisnesses are going to go under so understandably the panic, yet shamanism was never meant to be a buisness. We need to be looking deep into our hearts and minds at this time if we want to be of service to others, what comes first the £££££ or the personal well being of another.
In truth I am unlikely to ever do any more teaching I will be one of those to go down the provebial swanny, never mind nothing is permanent. I have taken myself off the shamanic teachers training list , for now, perhaps; yet you can ask her if I am one of her approved teachers. I do remain on the shamanic practitioners list.
So a few things to ponder if you are still champing the bit to do this training, would you hand yourself or a loved one over to a Dr for surgery who had trained online only?
How can you smell a rose if its only a picture?
Would you go to a dentist that had trained online only?
How much do you want to help another correctly? Many many people have been harmed by unethical practitioners, many have ended up in psychiatric hospitals, would you take responsibility for that because you trained online. Something to chew on before you make that decsion.
Would you have your haircut by someone who had only trained online?
No me neither.
Thank you kindly for reading. May we be blessed in harmony, peace and love, with magical sprinklings of laughter.
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The Healing Journey. Another layer peeled and healed.
Have you ever got really annoyed, down right irritated, and hostile along with being frustrated with yourself. This time it is not the monthly’s!! I have. With the words in my head of oh for crying out loud just heal it, or let it go!!! Teeth grinding, jaw clenching, head about to burst, aggravated with myself. In truth this is really not helpful, it’s not kind and caring to yourself, nor is it compassionate again to ourselves. The truth is some things just do take longer to heal than others. PTS, sexual abuse, and eating disorders, being a few, have so much more going on than a one session treatment can heal. This one session can help you immensely and miracles do happen, and more often than people think. I have witnessed people change their lives around after one extraction, or one power retrieval or one soul retrieval. Arthritis has gone, or Irritable Bowel disappeared. I have even done a few distant healings for people in hospital and at deaths door, the soul and or power returned and they are back full of life. (Shamanically you always have to have the person or animals permission for healing sessions) I most certainly came back from deaths door after one soul retrieval. It gave me the vital piece of essence I needed to want to live my life. It has taken a further eight years of continuous inner work, countless soul and power retrievals along with extractions and therapy sessions. To be where I am today, happy with my life and grateful to be alive. I have now accepted that I will for the rest of my life have situations crop up that need to be healed, and looked at. Some like the layers of an onion, you think you have dealt with it, then a few months or years later up crops the same emotions, (oh lordy I thought I had dealt with this, tut, tut not again!!) to the same childhood situation, all we are then doing is peeling back another layer and if we really take note of our feelings, we find that reviewing the situation we thought had healed, is not as painful or upsetting as the first time we looked at it. Another layer peeled and healed. Until there is no more to do. We can not change what has happened, we can change how we react to things though. Are we going to be held back by our emotional, mental or physical discomfort or move through it to the best of our abilities. There are times when we want to give up, times when we get frustrated and think for crying out loud how many sessions do I really need to get this sorted out once and for all. Healing is also a journey like life itself. Opening up a deep painful wound is not something we really want to do, that is why we have built up so many layers to cover this pain, anger, upset, fear, whatever it is that we are trying to escape from, however at times there is nothing else for it we have to look at what has caused us dis- harmony, dis-stress and dis-ease. For the wound to heal we have to cleanse it out, not just stick a plaster on it and leave it. So often it is painful and leaves us open and raw, this does itself heal and leave us at peace within ourselves, this in turn allows us to have space to allow happiness, joy, bliss, peace or the many other more positive emotions we want to have in and around us. Is life then a bed of roses and no more struggles? No.
We are here to experience life to the full, the ups and downs. All emotions, laughter, love, hate, rage, peace and bliss, happiness, sadness, grief and all the others not mentioned. Sometimes in our most desperate hours we are gifted the depth of human kindness and compassion we would not have experienced any other way. So being kind and patient with our selves is a lovely way to serve ourselves, no amount of forcing will make healing happen, sometime we have to surrender fully to divine will. To invite in happiness or peace or whatever it is we are looking for we first create the space within. To create the space within we do the healing work required. We let something go.
Creator nor God, or the Divine, or the Universe nor the miracle healer of Brazil John of God or Sandra Ingerman or little humble me can heal anyone or anything if that person, myself included is not ready to heal that situation; to forgive that situation, and ready to move on. Again it is a process that is why some things heal quicker and in one session than other ailments presenting themselves. Also bearing in mind that the Divine knows so much better than we do and the whole bigger picture of what is happening on the spiritual level in the background to get our desired results is far too much for me to comprehend or explain. Hope you enjoyed reading, many thanks. ©bluebird-dreamweaver.
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Have you ever been haunted? I have been haunted. Yes by ghosts. Earthbound spirits, suffering beings, who have been trapped here on Earth. How do we, when we die get trapped here? Is a common question I'm asked. So with my limited understanding, let me explain, from my perspective. When we are nearing our time to die we have much unfinished buisness that seems to need to be sorted out. Do we have people to forgive? Do we fear for family members who won't cope without us. What about our homes? We become attached to people, property and places, in our living life and seem to focus so much on these that when we die we stay there. Get trapped. We also as a society, the Western society mind, has lost its belief in Creator-God-Universe-Spirit-the afterlife. We seem, to still believe, ironically, in hell though. "So no I'm not going away to Spirit and further developement of my soul, my souls journey, as I do not believe it is there. Or maybe it is but I don't want to be judged. I don't really believe in Hell or the devil either, but lets face it I have done some pretty naff things, and don't really want to chance going there, well just in case it does exist. More likely than heaven. I think its best that I just stay here." So the end result is we stay here attached to our family members, or the places we know best. As an Earthbound Spirit. Trapped with no-where to go. Feeding off of the energy systems of those around us and those we love. In some cases being severely disruptive and wanting to get noticed, for unfinished buisness, maybe, understanding maybe. To get help with passing into the light. To be honest having done many, many compassionate deposessions the reasons are many and as different and varied as are the many people on earth. And each session is different even with the same person. Some spirits have been here so long they have forgotten why they are still here. Some spirits haven't even realised they have died. Some spirits are willing to go and happy to so others take a little longer, whilst others take a lot more convincing. The methods I use are compassionate, and we get there in the end and the trapped spirits leave. Depending on what has happened in a persons life, depends on how many sessions are needed. How much trauma they have experienced. Did they get drunk/high as a teenager and do the ouija board, oh lordy lord who knows what you invited in by doing that?? And what is still attached from doing that many many years later!! The reason for more than one session in most cases, is the sessions can tire out a client, and you don't want to be driving tired out.
My ability to be able to see/sense/feel Earthbound Spirits is what I think lead me into doing this work. I have always been able to see/sense/feel them. However about 8 years ago with my soul expanding, explosive awakening to the Spiritual journey I am now on, they were literally everywhere. I would get on the bus and have the man sat in front of me deceased wife look at me ovet the seats and then I would smell baking. Or be in the supermarket buying vegetables and bump into someone, turn to appologise and there was no-one there. They even moved into my house, or should I say every house I lived in there was a ghost. I would see some-one come past my window then knock on my door, when I opened it no-one was there, well no-body!!! I saw them in the trees, when walking, etc etc etc. Everywhere.
So the very valuable work that is done for the Earthbound is not really like the exorcist, or the many other horror films that Hollywood have to make and exaggerate to sell films. It wouldn't be as scary or exciting would it. No jumps and white knuckles, or hiding behind the pillows. In truth a spirit attachment is much more quiet than that, no big loud trumpet blowing annoncements, we would notice that pretty quickly. However sensing our loved ones around us can come in many forms, it can be very mild from cold spots/hot spots, feeling drained, knowing there is something else there, seeing movement from the coner of our eye and the like. Strange scents, smells we can or can't place. To the moving of items, being woken up and not really knowing why. You know something is off with your energy or your within your house, it doesn't seem right. Electrics, computers, phones and the like play up. Being unlucky, accidents happening, dropping things, injury to yourself more than is normal. Even taking on charateristics that are not your own, like suddenly wanting to smoke, or drink whiskey and you haven't wanrted to before, night terrors, seeing ghosts. All of these things can also have a logical, scientific explaination too (apart from the seeing ghosts!!). Even out right paranoia that everyone is out to get you, that can over time get worse and isolate you. Think of Golum and my precious!! Just some of the things I would be looking for in my compassionate deposession work; with the person or the house, I'm working with. Some of us are comforted with having our deceased loved ones around us, some of us are not. In all honesty in my opinion its best for them to have been to the light, the heart of creator, the beloved, and then choose to come back and give comfort, care and guidance to the living spouse, relative or friend. Than to be trapped here. I speak with the deceased, earthbound spirit, suffering being and help them move on into the light, a place a place of healing and allowing the individual spirit time to adjust ready to continue with their own souls journey, in the way that is best for them; hence the compassionate before deposession, I am not an exorcist imposing my will on anothers, and demanding anything, and doing nothing but creating fear, upset and confusion, for everyone concerned. I'm not in Hollywood!! That said there can be very severe disruptions that would make you feel you were in a film like the horror movies, and I have dealt with these situations however they are not the norm, but it does happen, very rarely; this is where film directors get there ideas after all. Again the idea is not to be in fear it is to get the trapped confused spirit, earthbound or other into the light, a place of peace and calm, where they can see/feel/sense and embrace thier own divine light of the creator, be in harmony with creation. Be at peace ultimately. Then there is the more unbelievable subject to so many people and into the realms of Star Trek and David Icke the alien possession of people, did I lose you there?? Bear with me!! This is more common than people think. It would be of a very limited view to think that the only planet that has life on it is Earth, and that only humans on Earth can travel to other planets. The universe is beyond my comprehension of size.
Negative emotions attract negative energies, so some darker spirits like to attach themselves to others through creating fear, anger, confusion, hostility, suicidal impulses, all the lower vibration energy that they can then feed off. Indeed encourage our bad habits of drug or alcohol abuse, encourage our wish of revenge, hostility, hatred and fear. These beings attach themselves through holes and tears created within our auras/energetic energy field that surrounds our bodies, these holes and tears are created by the traumas we have experienced within our lifetime. I would use guidance from my guides/allies to mend and heal these holes and tears, feather and stone aura sessions are great for after a compassionate depossession session and a soul retrieval. In truth there are more spirit attachments going on than people realize, simply going to the pubs and or hospitals and you can have an earthbound spirit attach to you, this can be the cause of loss of energy, hearing voices, sucidal thoughts/acts, self harm, mood swings,sexual disfunction/urges,depression, phobias, psychosis, sleep paralysis, or other mental, emotional, and even physical illnesses and many many other illnesses that are unexplainable by the local GP. This is not an excuse to then blame all our own unskillful behaviours on having a spirit attachment some of it is our own behaviour too, and we do need to look at this also.
I wanted to add in here the dangers of doing spirit mediumship and or psychic sessions, unless you know how to open the session up, know what you are inviting in and how to close a session down. Get proper training would be my strong advice.You can be doing the equivalent of pulling out a loud speaker in a busy Friday night Club or Pub or Inn and saying "Hi everyone party at my house". Think about that!!! Do you know who you just invited. The same applies to the spirit world. Know your guides too as some of these are false, and are leading you up the proverbial garden path.
This is a brief guide.
My intention has been to give a better understanding of spirit release and compassionate depossession depossession work. I now work my own way with this and have named the treatments sacred spirit transition ©bluebird-dreamweaver, to honour the earthbound spirits going back into the light. I really hope I have done so. If you are being affected by any of these issues you can contact me for a house clearance and or sacred spirit transition © work.
Many thanks for reading. ©bluebird-dreamweaver.
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